A sadist today

What is it about English? What is it about any language, for that matter?
I’ve been an avid reader all my life, as far as I remember. Right from being the first one to finish reading stories in my text books, to picking up cousins’ story books. It’s been my usual habit. I don’t remember ever when I said ” I don’t feel like reading, or I hate to see these novellas.” I have always been nagged by my cousins to be always consumed in books when they enjoyed watching TV or playing ghar-ghar.
Books have been more of an addiction to me than a hobby. I can’t resist the temptation of seeing a book store and not going in for a look. I still have memories fresh in my mind when my cool-headed, most patient dad, use to lose his control and throw my novels, or story books out. ๐Ÿ™‚ Twice, I remember, with much naustalgia now.
I used to love reading mystery fiction…Sherlock Holmes, Agatha Christie, Satyajit Ray….or even unknown writers….maybe it’s coz people read different authors…like Sidney Sheldon, Jeffery Archer…. but.., does it really matter what or whom we read?… Wasn’t it always about reading good stuff. I thought reading good material made the difference, and not that reading trash was what was needed. Today, those who have grown up reading these authors are better off.
I have been into debates, I’ve been into compering. I was so seriously drawn into debates that I once seriously thought of taking up Law as a profession. There was a time when I felt that I could debate on any topic, you just tell me which side I’ve to be on. It doesn’t matter what my opinion is, but I was always full with both sides. For compering, I was the unparallelled, unbeatable queen of Hindi compering world. (The guy who always beated me for English was my first crush!!! ufffff….what a voice, man!). I still remember, when in trouble, no teacher could think of any other name than me and him for compering a school function. First Sports Day, first Annual Day. You name it, I have it. Short time, Better performance. I remember the incidence and my heart beats with joy, and fills with pride. Beautiful Moments of Glory. But what’s the use. Here I am, much defeated now.
They say language is not learnt in a few days. I have spent my whole childhood learning it, and here I am, just to realise that whatever I learnt, all those basics I developed and stuck to, the whole of my life, were all wrong. All that, because of which I’ve won all those accolades. All wrong. Wrong usage of the language.
Today, when I need my efforts, my inputs to give me returns, I realise that all of them have been wasted in the wrong direction. Now, I’ve to spend sleepless nights going all over RC Passages and mug up as many words from them as I can. Now, I’ve to read and feel it as a heavy burden on my heart. Novels, which used to make me go on reading without even blinking….now, I’ve to read them as a duty.
My Advice: Crush hobbies. Develop interests!

Probably, this is “Life”.

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6 thoughts on “A sadist today

  1. c things rnt exactly the way they appear to us…u feel its not helping u out..”those times u spent reading books and all”….this is just what u feel..its not necessarily correct as well…u r able to read those crappy passages with much more ease compared to many others jus ‘coz u had that hobby of reading…and more importantly :)….u r able to express urself such beautifully …its another thing u r able to do jus ‘coz of that hobby of urs…i m right i guess jus like always ..hehehe:P

  2. Same here!! You have exactly penned down whatever i feel when i see my dismal scores in AIMCAT English ๐Ÿ˜ฆBt one thing is for sure- If you continue writing with such eloquence – you are bound to overcome this limitation too!!Good luck with ur RC passages!!

  3. thanks buddies!need such hopes…even if they r false ๐Ÿ˜›I know my agony must be shared by many! So, if they can make it, so can we!Get Set Go!

  4. I have one thing to say here about our reading habits.I don’t know how overall it has an effect,though my vocabulary what so ever has been built upon my reading of magazines and newspapers,the other stuff I read, had a distinctive influence on what I write and that is why my interest had never been a gripping story but a gripping narration.I always looked fro material where the underlying story is not as compelling as the author’s way of putting it.I have found Ruskin Bond the best till day :)…and in the long run , I have found , somewhere I have grown reading all this literature,now, does it help me in a competitive exam sounds immaterial to me when I realize the pleasure I have derived from them.And it may be so, that they don’t help,because in such exams,the words are “emotionless”:P ,and what we read is full of life.~Deeksha

  5. So, three cheers to your reading habit :),what you read is much more worthwhile than what you write ion the examination~Deeksha

  6. Wow..I didn’t know that you are into reading..in fact I didn’t remember ever seeing you with books in hand except technical ones and obviously nobody can be into them unless forced too ๐Ÿ™‚And even more surprised to know that you were so good in compeering because somehow I cannot imagine you doing that..and I don’t think I saw any of those qualities in college although I hardly attended the literary events.One thing I truly believe is that you will always get the true happiness from something that you did without thinking what you are gaining from it and I hope that is what reading was to you.

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