मैं या नियति?

I wrote this a fortnight ago. Thought of pasting it here to keep a track. Not a very positive one to read, but a part of life. An integral part of the journey. 

ना मेरा कोई धर्म, ना मेरी कोई धारा 

ना मेरी कोई इच्छा, ना मेरी कोई सीमा 
बस मेरी एक नियति, और उसके हाथों की कठपुतली मैं.
ना मेरा कोई संगी, ना किसी की मैं
ना मेरे गुज़रे कल का आज पर असर, ना मेरे आज का आते कल से नाता 
बस मेरी एक नियति, और उसके हाथों की कठपुतली मैं.
ना कुछ नया पा लेने की आशा, ना कुछ अपना खो देने का गम
ना टूटे सपनों का मोल, ना नए सपनों को बुनने का मन
बस मेरी एक नियति, और उसके हाथों की कठपुतली मैं.
हाँ, एक सवाल है —- नियति से….
‘कब तक? इसी तरह….कब तक?’
स्वाति

15 responses to “मैं या नियति?”

  1. I must say a very good poem. Nicely done.

  2. I’m unable to understand that a few lines (hardly worthy of being called a poem), so negative in the thought, are appreciated by all of you!!! Why? I mean, I would like to know what you understood, or is it that you ppl correlated with it? Or, perhaps, the lines rhyme together, so it seems as a nice attempt towards making a poem. Hmmmm. Now, it makes sense. 🙂 Thank you all!

  3. to me it conveyed a picture of a women with broken dreams….
    negativity has a concealed charm to it…and u r a smart girl which can be inferred from your comment above :)…all in all its a nice attempt 🙂

  4. 🙂 Thanks Sid. That was a beautiful explanation,as well as a gr8 boost up.

  5. Well for a while I was pondering on what to comment on your last post “Love story -I” and today when I tried it was no longer there 😦

    Anyways coming to this post ..well to be honest I did not relate anyone with this poem ,it was just the lovely use of words that made me appreciate it.

  6. @Sandeep: If you have any comments about the story, you can put them here! 🙂

  7. Nice poem dear..
    US me reh ke hindi me peotry kar ri hai.. cool man..

    msg for Sandeep if he passes by your blog..
    Uske blog pe mujhe comment karne ke permissions kyu ni hai??

  8. Hey Sweety! I guess, hindi mein poem hai kyunki, “phir bhi dil hai hindustani” 😉

  9. Bekar hai poem ek dam !!

  10. kaha se chori ki by the way ?

  11. This is just a perspective , that you believe that this poem carries a tinge of negativity .AMay be because you wrote it in that frame of mind.Look it from a neutral point of view.You 'll find it equally positive.For that's what I saw this poem as – a poem that talks about being boundless – not being bounded by religion ,desires,relations,experiences.You are being driven by destiny.Negativity comes when you question it.A very good friend of mine, once said , “There is nothing called destiny,it's all choices We make.Just that we don't realize it.”Have a closer look.You 'll realize what youcall as destiny were actually decisions taken by You.

  12. @CP: Thanks for reading the poem. As for your dislike for the poem, then I think it's unfair. Because, just because it's negative, it doesn't make it bad. It's just a thought, a viewpoint and every viewpoint is not happy-go-lucky.

    @DxA: I appreciate your viewing the other side of the coin, but when I wrote the poem, the frame of mind was definitely negative. So, I would leave it there. As for your frnd's philosophy, I agree that it's true to a great extent. But, I would still say that there are some decisions in life that are taken because there is no other alternative that you've. You've no option but to execute them. There destiny plays its role rather than you. You're nothing but a pawn executing the commands.

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