I try to understand myself…over and over again.
My mom says I live in a romantic world. Not the lovey dovey mushy romantic world, but the world where everything is good, everything is nice. No matter how bad things are, they are never bad enough for me to worry. My dad worries how I’ll manage in my life with the laid back attitude I have towards money matters. I don’t worry if I don’t claim my medical claims, through fraudulent bills. Everyone in the company does. After all, it’s our money that they are deducting. If we didn’t fall sick, then we should still get our money. I keep losing my stuff.
In childhood, my mom used to give the purse to my brother, when she sent us to get milk from Mother Dairy. I have dropped quite many purses. So, it was safer that he carry it. My brother is 4.5 yrs younger than me.
My brother says I don’t know what I want from my life. Sometimes, I say I want to study Art, sometimes I say I want to quit my job and get into Interior Design. Many a times I say I want to become a lecturer. He says there’s no guarantee that I’ll want the same thing 5 yrs down the line.
I don’t mind asking a stranger on road for directions. I don’t mind taking help from people I met 10 minutes ago. I don’t think it’s wrong if I like to learn more and more from people, even if they are boys. Just the fact that they are of opposite sex, doesn’t make them any less knowledgeable. Every time you talk to someone, it doesn’t imply that you’ve something cooking in your mind.
I get happy and excited when cool wind gushes on my face, while travelling in a bus or a bike. I enjoy the drops of rain falling on my face. I like the colorful things they sell in ‘melas’. I like colorful things, no matter wat age group they are meant for. I value human emotions more than the rules of the world. I like to talk more to people who’re nothing today but who I feel will be ‘something’ tomorrow…rather than those who’re already well accomplished, and sought after. I don’t think there’s a single person, whom I’ve met, and wasn’t worthy enough to be learnt from. There’s always something to be learnt, from anyone and everyone. I don’t despise or hate those who are successful, but just being successful doesn’t make you important in my eyes. I don’t mind laughing out loud if I want to. I don’t hide it if I’m happy doing something. Even if that’s not a normal course for others. It’s clear on my face when I don’t like something. Even if I try to hide it, it’s tough that it will escape the other person’s notice. I advise people as if they are my kids or kins…as if without my help they would really land up in hell. Or, as if, if they make the same mistake then they won’t be able to get out of it the way I could. 😛
I like to care about emotions. I like to help and be helped. I like people smiling, laughing, sharing together. I like people fighting and coming out hugging each other, at the end.
With all these traits, some people think I’m a fool who needs to grow up. Some believe I’m extra smart and only pose as a fool. And some are there, who believe I’ve too pure a heart, I still have the spark alive and haven’t lost it after coming into the adult world.
For me, I don’t know whom to believe!