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A baby girl?

I was thinking of why I want a baby boy and not a baby girl? Am I a sexist? Or, I am also one of those with the typical mind-set of an Indian where a boy is loved and favored more than a girl…?

To understand this, I thought of how I would like to grow up my girl. I always had innumerable plans on how to raise my boy, but never gave much thought on what if it’s a girl….
Unfortunately, the two plans had so many differences.
Just because she’s a girl, there were starking differences in my plans on what I’ll allow, how I’ll educate her, what all she can get and what she can’t. It looked more like the thought brought out the stricter me from within me, than the loving, caring woman, a mother should be.
She shouldn’t be doing this…She’s a girl and will be married and expected to behave in such and such manner…she’s a girl and may not get that much independence in her new home…. The thoughts were all constraining.
I think the idea of bringing my girl into a world where there are so many disparities and so many boundaries for women, I would be deeply hurt to see a tender soul and a piece of my heart, going through the same difficulties as I have..as I still go through.
It all sounds as if it’s ages old world that I’m talking of, but no! This world is where my Mom lived, this is the same world where my Mom-in-law lived, and this is the same world where I’m expected to live. It hasn’t changed much.
Only the outer layer changes, but internally everything is the same…the beliefs, the traditions, the mind-set.
The only way that mind set can change is if the younger generation, the upcoming generation says ‘no’ to following these blind traditions. A firm NO.
But, call it the poor destiny of Indians and India, the nation, you can break any legal law or rule, but breaking a tradition, a family belief is equal to breaking ties with your family.
I doubt many of us would go that far.
Till that time, I can just pray to God to not give me a daughter.