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Understanding relations

A sudden thought came to my mind. We understand blood relations because they are pre-defined. We follow them or respect them because we’re accustomed to following them in a certain way. But, as we grow old in age, and we meet new people, and we make new relations, we get confused. We get confused as to why these relations are there, what I should name this new relation, or why, at all, I need to name this relation!

I think it’s because naming a relation attaches certain rules, certain codes of conduct, certain expectations, and certain limits, to the relationship.

These limits, why are they needed? Why do we need to differentiate between a real brother and a foster brother? It should make no difference practically. But, it does. It does because that’s how the balance of civilization is maintained. It is the basis of human civilization.

Imagine for a minute where we don’t follow these rules. What if we stop following them!? You’re friends with a person. You grow fond of the person. You like talking, sharing ideas, laughing over nothing. You grow so close that whenever you’re upset, you go to this person. You cannot think of anyone else for solving your problems, unraveling your mind, or getting de-stressed. It’s like your tonic for the day, for life. Life’s going great, no problems!

But, there is ONE problem. You were already in a relationship with someone else. This new person was just supposed to be a friend, or a foster brother/ sister. Can any husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend accept that you’re so close to someone else than himself? If it’s a true relationship, then can anyone accept that for emotional support, you depend on someone else than himself/herself? Or, is it really now a question of “As long as you’re not sleeping with him/her, I’m fine!”

I think in today’s real world, it has come down to this one basic question only. A husband-wife relation is different only because they sleep together. They are not dependent on each other financially, not emotionally. The physical need is the only need. So, once that need is fulfilled from somewhere else, the reason of marriage or the relationship fails. This is the reason why we have so many failed marriages and such short lives of marriage. And, what was the basic flaw? “Love ended, we were too apart people, we had stopped understanding each other”. NO! The basic flaw was that we didn’t maintain the sanctity of our relations. We never maintained the basic rule that for all emotional and physical needs, I’ll look unto you and no one else.

Moral of the story: Society people may be orthodox, but society rules aren’t. These rules are the basis of humans living harmoniously else everything will be a chaos. Civilization means inter-dependence of human beings. No dependence, no civilization can exist.