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Birthdays

Today I’m in a mood to post n post n post. Let’s see how much I am able to actually do.


First, it’s my birthday today and am one of those who absolutely loves to be treated like a queen on this day. Never mind that I remain same on others too ๐Ÿ˜› Anyways, on this day, you MUST remember to wish me, say good things about me, wish me loads, and bring a special gift for me.


I’ve always had special affection for gifts. I know, everyone has it. But mine is a little far-fetched. I don’t just want any gift. I want my near-ones to think a lot about the gift and gift me something than shows this is all about me. Something they know from my endless talks that I needed. Something they know I’ll definitely like because I had wanted it since so long. Or, something just because I adore it, no matter how many in number I have.ย 
This is because I give the same kind of attention when I gift my loved ones. I never gift just for the sake of it. I gift after thinking of the person, and then the memories are most cherish-able. Both by the person receiving it and mine, because it brings great amount of satisfaction to me. To see them smiling, to see them feel so special.
AND, it has to be a surprise.ย 


Now, if you’re a guy then you would definitely think, “O Lord, bless his husband. He must be having a hard time keeping this lady happy.” ๐Ÿ˜€ Well! I agree. It must be tough for him. But then he’s getting a great thing in return, and that’s me ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚


Well! Last year my husband gifted me a lot. He tried everything in his capacity to make me feel special. And, he succeeded, if you’re thinking about that. The thing I liked the most was that he wrote a love-letter for me. Something soo not him and sooooo me! ๐Ÿ™‚


This year, however, he hasn’t been able to. Atleast not yet. Am hoping he comes out with something. ๐Ÿ™‚


People generally question what’s good about birthdays. Why should one be so happy about it. After all, it’s an year reduced in your life. Sadists! Actually, they are ones who haven’t yet understood the philosophy behind it.
1. These are just ways to celebrate. You can find your unique days or reasons to celebrate but you can’t be sure that everyone would like to share your reasons of celebration. These are commonly followed. So, y not follow and enjoy!?
2. An year less in life…well, how many years you’ll live, do u know? Then how do u know it’s an year less in what date. Live the day, don’t live the past, present, future.
3. Most important, it’s a way of thanking God for giving another year, the new year, to know about yourself. About life. About the mysteries of human life. About this life and after-life. About learning. About unlearning. About growth. About loss. About emotions. About mother nature. To visit more places. To live more happy moments. To say “I love you” to your loved ones.ย 


“Where is the time to hate, there is so little time to love. Come’on let’s sing, com’on let’s dance. Com’on let’s play..o meri jaaan”

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Shamelessly proud of being a boy’s mom

Yesterday, I uploaded a few pics of my li’l one on FB. As usual and expected, there were lot of likes, fake-likes n comments they received. My reason of uploading was only to share with my special frenz who don’t get to see him a lot but keep asking me to at least upload sm photos for them to see. But, in the process, there are lot of formality people who feel they are obliged to at least LIKE the pic. Nerds!!ย 
Anyways, that’s not why the blog. I let the world live in their own world. I live in mine.
The reason which got me thinking was sm1’s comment on my son’s bike pose and on his future. There was sth like “He will find a girl himself to fill up the back seat.” I also replied comfortably, “Ya, ย I hope he does.”


Now, if I had been a girl’s mom, none of this would have happened. Neither someone would have said she’ll find a boyfriend and roam around with him on bikes. Nor would I have said, ya I hope she does. Is it my fault that I feel this way? Actually, not. It’s the society.ย 


When actually two people are in a relationship, it’s a mutual decision, a mutual mutiny with the society and its norms. As much as a girl defies the society, so does the boy. But, still the family of boy doesn’t care if they get to know that their boy is having a girl-friend. They don’t care if he’s bunking classes to go for a movie with her or spending night-outs in pubs dancing with the girl. However, it’s a deal worth losing appetite and losing sleep for the girl’s parents. They are practically ready to just jump down the well or go into hibernation and shut themselves off from the world.ย 


I can’t help it if being a boy’s mom gets me so much relief. And, it’s not just this fact but so many others.
1. You don’t have to let go of your child when he grows up in his wedding.
2. As a child, a boy can lie naked in house, roam around like anything, but a girl is never left like that. She, no matter how small, is always wrapped in multi-layers. Tell me, have you ever seen a small girls’ photo when she’s having bath or sth? Have you seen the same photo of a boy? The answer is yes. Almost all boys have it at home, which is a laughing stock later. Never mind that one.
3. If a boy is dark/small height/has a small ****/whatever, no problem. If a girl is a little tanned, the mom has to keep worrying and doing remedies to improve her color.
4. ….


The list can go on. Am sure you can keep adding to it.
So, is it really my fault that I feel happy and relaxed that I’m a boy’s mom?ย 


If I’m not, then how can I blame the oldies when they lament that it’s a girl born.ย 
I know this analogy, this end-result is extremely sick to think of, shouldn’t be the end result. Listening to it, thinking of it, makes me feel like I am the worst woman on the earth… but IT IS THE TRUTH and HARSH FACT in which I live.ย 


Can I do anything about it?


Well, yes I can. I can try and make this world a better place for the girls around me. I can try and narrow down the difference. Even if I’m not the mother of one, I can try and not be judgmental about other girls around. Just treat them as kids and let them be.ย 


I will definitely try.
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naadaa love

Anay completely adores strings..no matter where they are, he will go behind it and get it into his mouth. His adulation for this is so crazy that if he has to chose between a mobile and a naada, he’ll go behind the naada.
He sees his own nappy’s naada, he’ll pull it and start mouthing it. He sees mine, he starts playing with it, trying his best to get into his mouth. Silly boy.
He always had a penchant for necklaces. I never knew that it was actually his naada love that drove him towards them. ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ™‚
Lallu beta mera.


And, btw, yesterday he got his birth certificate registered with the name of “Anay”
So he his formally, officially, medically and ever-lly Anay Aggarwal now.
Sounds cool na!? “AA”. As I always wanted it to be. Ever since my pregnancy.


While Anay was in my womb, I had decided on two names Anay, or Avni.
If it had been a girl, I wanted to name her Avni and for a boy, Anay.
And why both from A, coz I wanted the surname and first name to have the same initials – so ‘A’.
๐Ÿ™‚ Silly reason but that’s how it was for me.


Smiles,
Mumma
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he is a snail now :P

Nov 14th, 2011, Anay begins to show some signs of crawling. He doesn’t do precise ‘ghutman’ as we call it. He messes up the bedsheet to move towards the object, which mostly is a mobile ๐Ÿ˜›


It’s lovely to see him keep going to and fro, behind the phone, across the bed. You keep the object in approachable, visible area and he’ll surely go behind it. He’ll sit, then fall towards the object, then move his legs a bit in absurd ways and then sit again, a lil closer to the object. And, he keeps doing the loop till he reaches his destination. His destination is to ‘eat’ that mobile. Right now, he just wants to put everything in his mouth, whether it’s a cloth, whether it’s a toy, whether it’s a utensil, or it’s a mobile.ย 


Also, he specifically enjoys when I call him ‘ganda, hat gande’ (bad boy, get away bad boy :P). He finds special fun there. ๐Ÿ˜€
He loves playing ‘tiger tiger’ with me. I love to bite (not exactly with my teeth but just with my mouth) his cheeks and he also does the same. I totally mouth them in. He superbly enjoys it and I enjoy it just the way Edward must have enjoyed Bella. ๐Ÿ˜› Some fun, some refrained.ย 
So, in return, he opens his mouth, ready to bite me, without teeth (Haahaha!) wherever he can. In this, he has even slashed my lip once with his mighty nails. I cherish that cut on my upper lip. ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜›ย 


I have always referred to him as ‘my cub’ on networking sites. I want him to be like a tiger (symbolically, of course). So, I love him when he does anything like that. I don’t want him to be super-cute, super-sensitive and super-caring like his father. I don’t mind anything else being in him but just that. Want him to be more strong and rough-tough. Plus, I want him 6-feet. ๐Ÿ˜€ My brother is, and I just love it.ย 
It’s not that I don’t like the traits of Tarun. I don’t mind him getting his cute looks (in childhood), I don’t mind if he inherits the humility, the maturity, the soft-spoken, the care for his mom, but I just want the height, the looks and the heart to be different. Heart has to be mine + Tarun. For sure!! ๐Ÿ™‚


If he gets even some part of the manly-me, he’ll be what I want him to be. ๐Ÿ™‚ Am sure he will.

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and he starts to sit

On 5th Nov’2011, me and Tarun are sleepy and want Anay to sleep. But, he’s all in play mood. He won’t sleep. Tarun forces him down to bed so that he sleeps. And, whoosh!! He turns around and sits back…on his own.
We both look at each other, recollecting what we just saw…whether we were too much in sleep to imagine all of that or we actually saw that. And, we both laughed giving a hi-five to each other. Then, we reason that perhaps Tarun was holding his legs that ways that he could get up coz of that and brush away the thought.
But, in the coming two days, he clears all doubts. He grapples, turns the sheets in and out, but manages to sit up ..all by himself ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ™‚
It’s a new development and it is a wonderful feeling ๐Ÿ™‚

ย  ย 

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Free- gyaan on marriage – Marriage

This was a piece of advice I gave one of my friends just when he was about to get married.ย 

A girlโ€™s happiness and adjustment in the family totally depends on the boy and never the girl. So, it will always be your work to fix up things. Once you believe in this, youโ€™ll never face any family problems. Sheโ€™ll give you all the happiness in life but youโ€™ll be happier if sheโ€™s herself happy from within. And that onus depends on you.

I learnt it by seeing Tarun. Heโ€™s done that and Iโ€™ve seen a girl (myself) change from a rebel to a complete Indian bahu taking care of the family, keeping everyone together, respecting everyone etc etc.. keeping the whole family happy. I never expected all of this from myself. There are so many things I never believed in or my parents still donโ€™t believe in. But, heโ€™s made me understand and see the beauty behind it. So, all the points go to Tarun for making it possible. The patience, perseverance and belief in himself and love for me made it possible.


This is just a starting point to understanding a marriage. Marriage is not just about being with your better-half and understanding him/her, and living with him/her. In India, it is more about settling in the family than with the hubby. There are just too many complexities there. If these hadn’t been there, life would have been much simpler. So, for a successful marriage, aim for a successful bonding with the family. It’s extremely important and difficult a job for the girl. And, whether alone or with her husband’s help, she must strive for it. It not only defines the success of her marriage, it defines her happiness, her husband’s happiness and the general good-health of the family. The happiness of a woman is generally ignored in Indian marriages but it is the most crucial.ย 

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I get sad when you’re late…. :(

These days, there have been times when I had to stay back in office or due to some reason, I reached home late. My MIL keeps updating me how Anay was continuously looking at the gate around your usual time, waiting for you.ย 


I always try to NOT believe her. But, the other day, I saw it. I returned late due to urgent work at office. Though I tried to make it early, I still reached home around 8. As is the norm, my MIL brings him to the gate whenever I reach home, she brought him with her. As soon as the gate opened, I didn’t even keep my laptop down, and took him in my arms. He came silently. But, he was extremely silent. And, sad. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ


I maybe overdoing it by thinking that he was sad coz I came late but it was so written on his face. After a little while, in which Tarun played with him, did silly things in front of him, he was returning to his usual self, but I somewhere knew that he gets sad when I don’t come in time.


He was avoiding my gaze…not throwing hands like he usually does when he’s happy/excited. He was too silent. Later, I tried to make up to him by spending time with him, but the long day was taking its toll, and I was tired and not my usual spirited self. I just wanted him to sleep while he wanted to play.


This thought is so irksome and so sad. I know he wont remember it for long. He’ll be fine when I return at normal time today. He may just get used to my coming late in some time. But, as an adult, I won’t forget these sacrifices he had to make for my independence, my work, my identity.


No matter how much working-ladies try, they cannot deny that kids do suffer somewhere.