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I’ve been reading novels by Nora Roberts since almost two weeks now. Daily. In Office. In office hours. 😐
I had asked for some suggestions for books on FB and a friend had mentioned Nora Roberts to me. I read the summary of the novel, and ridiculed her for reading Nora Roberts. That’s so like MBs. But, ever since the day, I’ve been trying to get some of her novels to read. And, the result was that I asked Tarun to get it from market. For the time being, I read around 30 pages of it in a preview site. He forgot and I couldn’t wait. So, the next day I searched it up on net. I couldn’t find the book, but I found a tarball containing 37 of her titles. And, each one of the title is a novel in itself, so the first I read had 3 novels inside it.Β 
And, since Tarun wouldn’t like my reading a novel at home when I could spend some time with him and Anay so I read it in office. I didn’t tell him that I’m reading novels in office because he doesn’t like me wasting office time for my personal stuff. But, I had no option. As an end result, I’m getting up regularly at 7.00 in the morning so that I don’t miss my morning cab. So that I reach office early and can read the novel further. Tarun’s shut down has already begun and he even offered one day that he would drop me to office. But, I just couldn’t wait to get to my novel. So, I got up and got ready for the cab. And, made it to cab 5 minutes early. God speed, I have, if need be…if drive be!

Now, for one, I lied to Tarun, which I don’t ever do. Mostly. I’ve work lying in office which has deadlines but I just can’t put the damn book down. I don’t remember my tea, I don’t remember my lunch time, which I used to so religiously follow. Everyone in my team knows that if Swati’s hungry then even a bomb blast cannot keep her away from her lunch, forget work. And, here I am, when people come to my seat to ask if we can go for lunch now, since it’s already 15 minutes past our regular time of lunch. Then also, I’ve to tear my eyes off my computer to go.

Now, the big question is that where will I stop? Will I miss my office deadline and still evade from the check-ins waiting for me? Will I waste my shut-down reading these novels than using my time to meet my parents and talk to them. There have been too many things I was planning to do during this shut-down hols at my parent’s house. God! I’m scared. I can see the impending disasters and my mind is already running to find out the excuses I’m gonna give them.Β 

I soo wish I had a personal home, totally personal, where I could do what I wished without feeling guilty. Where I could be just be myself and my heart could rule. My habitat. My home!

4 thoughts on “Confessions

  1. πŸ™‚ Happens so many times! Being a woman isn't easy, everything tends to take priority but us, and when we eventually do what we like, we go on a guilt trip….

    Work, yes, is a responsibility…can not be compromised! Ever tried Toilet reading? πŸ˜› Or late night reading? Or when you are in cab?

    I secretly wish for MY time too, in MY home…I think this break from work gave me such. But, now I can not wait to get back to work and no JOB seems to work out…shoosh!

  2. that last paragraph is what I have been asking Santa on Christmas, Lakshmi ji on Diwali and so on…and my god, you reminded me of the times when I read like that-totally oblivious to the world and the surroundings…after a baby and blog-i don't think i will ever reach there again:(

    you carry on-sounds like the greatest bliss that ever could be:-)

  3. @BB: I envy you for the sabbatical you have taken. It's a total not-possible thing in India. Well! I don't think a sabbatical would be so fun and MY time either, if its in India, anyways. As for your job, I'm sure its anytime around for you now. ATB! πŸ™‚
    @Suruchi: It indeed is the greatest bliss. I don't remember the last time I was so happy and content πŸ™‚ I mean, truly truly content πŸ™‚

  4. wish for a personal home.. such a genuine feel it conveys.. not just yours .. many of us, i m sure share it .. good writing !
    i used to read like this, and when it started affecting my class assignments etc, i forcibly gave up reading.. even now once i lay my hands on an interesting one, i am obsessed, and people at home start complaining about the lights on, etc etc.. a personal home is just the dream atleast for few days in a month:)

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