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Thumak chalat moro kanhaa

And Anay starts to walk. πŸ™‚
To put a safe date on exactly when he started to walk, I’ll say, 20 March’2012. Almost a fortnight before his 1st birthday.
He had been trying to walk since quite some time now. Almost immediately after he stepped into his 11th month, he started persistently trying to walk. He would hold on to things and try to walk…holding walls, doors, sofa handles, anything he could cling on to. But, he wanted to walk than crawl.
Then, he started standing up and stepping 1-2 steps, then he would fall. He fell a lot but kept trying. Nobody pushed him to walk, he felt like doing it himself.
And, then I remember, Bhawna didi was home with kids. I had returned from office. It was Tuesday and I had my con-call with my US manager. And, the moment my MIL opened the gate, I saw him coming towards me, from a distance, walking, peeling with laughter. He was so absorbed in playing and laughing and enjoying with kids, that he forgot he had to fall while walking. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ And, he walked almost the whole distance from the Dining Table to the Drawing Room. And then he fell. πŸ˜€ Ohh my baby! I can keep running the tape in my mind over n over. Beautiful moment for me. And, I remember thinking of Tarun. Thinking how he would be so over-joyed on seeing him walking. Tarun was most eager to see him walking.
But, as kids are naughty, Anay took a complete day more to show Tarun that he had learnt walking. I never mentioned to Tarun that I had already seen him. When the next day he saw Anay walking and was out of breath, telling me, I told him that I saw him yesterday. And then, my sweety was disappointed that he got to see Β it a complete day later than me. Hahahaha! But, all these moments are so sweet and cherished for me. Joys of my life. Simple joys of life.
Now, it’s been almost a week since Anay has started to walk. He has gained more balance to his feet and falls much lesser.
Ohh! Did I mention that when Anay started to walk, he shrugged off my hand himself. As if saying “Mom, I can walk, you don’t need to walk me now”. πŸ™‚

Oh Boy! My Man! πŸ™‚

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The Social Network

In this world of virtual realities, I’m still grappling to find my own. Call it generation gap, if you insist. The world that we grew in consisted of people you met, as part of your world. Today, people you’ve never met, people you may never meet ever, people who were your staunch enemies, people you were happy to be strangers with, all are part of your friend circle. In a way, they are part of your world.

I’ve always believed that the world we live in consists of things ‘you’ personally wish to consist of. If you believe in ghosts, you’ll have ghosts in your life. Whether as a memory of a dark lane, or whether as your darkest fears of your life. If you believe the world is full of miracles by God, you will definitely have one that would have happened in your own life. If you’ve understood the idea, read on.

So, this point of social networking with ‘real’ strangers is odd to me. It brings so many unidentified people and things into my life, of which I’m not aware of. There are people who would be regularly watching over my Facebook Profile or Wall, or reading me regularly on my blog, without my knowledge, least, my permission. I don’t like that. One of my friends, old friends, told me through an e-mail that they read my blog and prefer not to comment. I respect their choice. I am happy that they read and I know about it. But, like them, there must be others, who read and do not comment, and ‘should not’ be here. I dislike that.

All the hollywood movies that I’ve seen ‘Enemy of the state’, ‘I.Robot’ et al come to my mind, making me revisit what all I’ve written here. Whether there’s anything I shouldn’t have… I just want to write, have some friends/genuine people read, who have no other intention than to read the writings of fellow humans, and no other purpose of following/stalking me. I don’t want unknown people.

It was fine till I had no clue about it. But, with recent blogger profile, I know there are people, number much more than my follower list, who read me, without my knowledge. Thanks to Stats section.

What is it that I can do.Β 

Posted in Uncategorized

Schools

Ever since I know, I’ve wanted to give the best education to my son. While I understand that a child learns more from his home than his school, I want to ensure that the atmosphere he gets at his school is good too.
Now, there are loads and loads of schools in Delhi and a brand name in their own way. But, with the competition and the business that has got into education, I’m quite perplexed. I don’t know what to do, how to look for the right school for my child. I’m ready to shift my state if need be, for Anay’s schooling. Sounds far fetched? But, that’s how desperate the situation is.


More than the name, I want Anay to get a school where he can explore his potential. He can try various things and find out what he likes most. Now, most schools have various extra-curricular activities in their curriculum but I find many of the new additions, quite irrelevant. While I don’t mind Anay learning golf or horse-riding, I find them included just because they are expensive. I think the simple sports like football, skating etc can also be equal fun to the child. I mean, schools used to take kids to out-bound trip because they were a good experience for kids to go out of the parents’ care and security. But, now schools have International trips to arrange for that. I don’t see any sense or reason on why a trip needs to be international and cannot be in-country.


Do you understand the predicament? The point is schools are getting more materialistic and are drifting from the idea of teaching values, ideas to kids. They are more involved in making things attractive and popular for parents. More ideas on how to extract more money from the parents.
Another example: Schools telling parents that at the end of the play-school year, we’ll give you a hard-bound photo album of your kid playing in school. If a parent wants to opt out of the option (thanks to digi-cams, parents have loads of clicks of their kid in action), then that’s not possible. Also, how can schools do “Only these students have paid for the album, so rest of you, shoo!”


So, the schools themselves are bringing in more and more ways of putting inferiority/superiority complex in kids. Teaching them that what it means to have money or not to have money, or having a rich dad/poor dad.


Man! Am quite concerned. I don’t want to send Anay to any such school. I want him to go to a school where the concentration is more on giving him a healthy environment than a wealthy one.


Any ideas on how I can find out such a school?On where I can find info about the various schools.


Desperate Mom!
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Determined Anay

There’s a adage in Hindi, “poot-kapoot ke pair paalne mein dikhayi de jate hain

Anay has not just inherited his Dad’s looks, he has inherited his temper andΒ Β his determination too. Tarun is quite adamant when he decides on something. And no one can deter him if he’s decided on it.
Anay watches TV like a lost world. Even if you wave your hand in front of his eyes, he’ll just move around your hand, but not take his eyes off it. It’s quite amazing to watch him do that.

One day Tarun decided this cannot be allowed any further. So, while Anay was lost in watching TV, Tarun started bringing a sofa pillow in front of his eyes. Anay moved above the pillow, or moved the pillow aside, every time Tarun did it. Tarun did it almost 7-8 times and Anay persisted all this while. Amazing is to see Anay’s patience and perseverance too. πŸ™‚ πŸ˜›

Then, Tarun got tired and he moved Anay to face him directly. Tarun tried to scare him with probing eyes, you know, the angry eyes. And, Anay just kept looking at him. And, probed into Tarun’s eyes straight. As if, scaring him back. πŸ˜€

I can never forget the look , I can never forget the episode.

Somehow, it makes me think that Anay will turn out to be a focused person and a difficult child to budge πŸ™‚

Posted in Letters to Anay

Comparison, Competition and Balance

The world nowadays is marred with lot of vices. And, as a kid, the worst of it, that you will face, is comparison and competition. People, both parents and kids, are running crazily behind things just because everyone else is doing it. It’s wrong.
I was born in an environment where competition and comparison was a way of life. I know it’s consequences and I know it’s damages. The idea behind telling a child about competition is because it puts pressure on the child to do better. Peer Pressure. I’m still working on getting rid of the scars.

I.. would rather like you to do things naturally. I want you to feel driven for things and not pushed for them. If you do something, do it because ‘you’ ‘want’ to do it. Don’t do it because someone else is doing it. And, don’t do it because you have to do it.
Of course, there are things which you will have to do because that’s part of our culture or society. And, trust me, if things happen my way, I’ll allow you the freedom to question those and take your decisions there too. But, that will happen when the time comes. When you’re mature enough to make your decisions. But, till then, you’ll have to trust your parents.

Competition these days is growing like tsunami. It is engulfing and destroying everyone in its tides. As you grow up, you’ll see children preparing for Engineering Entrance Exams right from Class 6th. That is the kind of preparation that has already started!! God knows by the time you get into school, they would have created programs for kids in Nursery too! Phew! I wonder what it will be like for ‘your’ kids πŸ˜›

Honey, enjoy your life. Enjoy the present. Leave the future to itself. Have goals if you really want something. Prepare for it. But before that, know the life, know the world, look at the beautiful world ‘God’ created. Not just the one ‘Man’ created. The songs of birds, the love of a mother for her child, the colors of the flowers, the dew in the morning, the first sunshine, the cool breeze, the twinkling stars at the night. The purity. Follow your passion, Follow your heart. Understand what you want to do in life.Don’t be like your mother, who is 27 and still searching for what her real passion is πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€ Be like her to not stop searching for it, as long as it may take!

I must mention here, life is about maintaining a balance. At every point in your life, you’ll have to maintain a balance. When you’re a kid, you’ll have to do your homework and you would want to go playing too. Keep a balance. When you grow up, you would have work of office and you would want to spend time with your family too. Keep the balance. If you learn to keep the balance from childhood, you’ll not face a problem handling it later in life. Prioritize things and then follow the schedule you made for yourself. A certain amount of discipline doesn’t just brings success, it brings more happiness too.

Follow that and live your life king size. I’m there to fend for it. No, I don’t want you to be a brat or an irresponsible child. Be responsible for your actions. If you have done something, stand up for it. Don’t be a coward and lie to get away from the results. Owe up to them and never regret what you did. When you do that, you will never do anything that you’ve to hide from anyone. But other than that, do everything that your heart tells you to do. If you think it’s right, don’t think about what others’ right is. If you think doing something is more important than attending an examination, then do it. Explain it to me later and son, I’ll understand!

And when you grow up, show the world your true colors. Show them it doesn’t matter if you got 100/100 in Maths or Chemistry. What is needed is a clear vision and a passion for the things that actually matter. Be an example that life is not about cramming text books. It’s about learning from the world on a day-to-day basis and then dealing with it on the world’s conditions.And, making your rules for the world to follow, later!

Go Tiger!!

Posted in Letters to Anay

Letters to you, my cub

Dear Anay,

I’ve often read about letters that people write to their kids, when they come to know that they are about to die in some time, due to some terminal-illness. I don’t have any such illness. At least I know of none as yet…but I want to write letters to you, Anay. The way my life is going, the way things are shaping up, I am no more sure that I would be able to rear you the way I always wanted to.

You would find it odd but ever since I was very small (around 6-7 yrs of age, perhaps), I had opinions or thoughts on how my parents were behaving with me, and how ‘I’ would behave with my child, once I have him/her. πŸ˜› This may sound fine to you coz u r listening to your mother, but for anyone else, it would be a funny thought. Maybe you will laugh too if you read this after growing up! πŸ™‚Β Nobody, perhaps, thinks of children till the time they actually have them. I did. I used to. Whether it was good or bad, I don’t know. That’s what I was. That’s what made me what I am today. Whatever that is.

I want to share the real ‘me’ with you. The Mom that you see when you grow up and the mom that has actually given birth to you are very different. Why do I say that? Because circumstances, society, and life changes people a lot. Your beliefs, your understanding of the world, your priorities keep changing. So will I and so will mine. Things I have believed in so far in my life, are becoming meaningless to me now. I know the reason is because I’m more maturer now. I’m growing up, rather growing old. I’m trying to mingle in the world. I’m trying to adjust to the life that everyone else lives, for the sake of my family.

I never did initially.

I lived by my heart. All my life. That’s the life I consider as ‘mine’. I never regretted anything I did my life. I always took them as a learning. Β If I couldn’t find any learning, I just took it that I will understand it in due course of time, but I will. I used to listen to my heart a lot. This made me very different from other people. This made me ‘me’. But now, I’ve started losing it. I feel that I’m losing that innocence, I’m losing that heart.

But before the world changes me, and before everything is lost, I want to write these letters to you to tell you, what my heart felt. Because ,somewhere within me, I still believe that my heart was right and the world is wrong.

When I know that was right then why am I changing? The ways of heart are individualistic. They only think of oneself. But, life after marriage is mutual. Your wishes, your dreams, your decisions are all mutual. They are taken as best for your family. Β In doing this, sometimes, one own’s will has to be forsaken. And this is not something forced on anyone, this is a mutual decision taken by the two people who agree to get married. They agree to set forth on a path for their lives, where they will do anything needed to stay afloat and yet, stay together. If for that, it needs anyone of them to let go of some of their personal wishes, they will. And, each one of them does that happily. Because staying with each other is most important in their lives now. That’s the beauty of love and marriage.

.

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Stand, Walk, Run

Now Anay has only one ambition in front of him – to walk. πŸ˜€
He’s totally unstoppable these days. He hasn’t been able to stand or walk properly right now but he constantly keeps trying. Whatever amount he can walk, crawl, he uses it to his maximum ability, to reach to new objects.
He’s able to stand up with the help of stuff, like table, chair etc so he would use those and stand up and start reaching out to objects on top of it. The dressing tables and the drawers are all reachable targets now for him.
You need to keep a constant check on where he might be.
He’s started crawling beneath the dining table and the chairs. You lose sight of him for a minute and you would have lost him totally. Then, you keep looking. Coz, right now, he can’t respond. If you call out his name, he’ll look towards you but he won’t come to you. So, if you don’t see in his direction, you don’t know where to find him.
Just the other day, he went running behind something and Mji was in the other room. By the time, she came to the Drawing room, he was nowhere. She called out to him but of course, he won’t answer! So, she looked everywhere to find him sitting and waiting for her, behind the Sofa!
Phew!
It’s fun and it’s scary. πŸ™‚
He is so happy when he can stand for a short span of few seconds. He looks at us for approval and happiness. And, are we happy!? His Dad is always overjoyed whenever he sees him standing by himself for even 3 seconds. For me, the fun has faded a bit but I still feel happy. But, not as much as him. πŸ™‚

He’s also realized that switches are for starting and shutting the fans and the lights. Two days ago, we got a switch board fitted near the bed as it was more convenient. Now, we feel like it was a big mistake. Every time Anay is on the bed, he can’t wait to reach to the switch board. Now, since the board is at the side of bed, there are fair chances that he would fall off the bed if we leave him unnoticed. God!! You can never be enough cautious with kids.
Now, when he falls or hits himself, I don’t even worry as much.

I guess that’s part of being a boy’s mom. You ought to get used to this! πŸ™‚

Did I mention that he loves to walk with his walker? He even tries to turn it at corners but can’t do it as yet πŸ™‚
Also, we play hide-n-seek with him. πŸ˜€ We call out to him and hide in one of the rooms and he comes running-while-crawling all over. It’s our favorite play these days. We get tired of it but he doesn’t. πŸ˜€