How I would live my life if I relived it.

I’ve often mentioned about the Phoenix times of my life that happened when I was in US. And, the changes it brought to my life. 
The time has brought so much change that I’m a totally new person.People from my past life, when they meet me, none of them has failed to say ‘Swati,you’ve changed a lot. A Lot.’ I don’t know whether the change is good or bad to them. I just know I’m happy with the changes.
But, after the changes, I wish I had some changes in my past life too. I miss some things which I could have back then, and cannot have now. I would like to list them here. I feel like I missed on them, and would like to re-live my life.


1. Have a girl’s gang.
2. Go to a girl’s college like LSR for Women.
3. Be a Bitch.
4. Never have entered an Engineering College.
5. Wish I had not been such a bright student, but a little lesser one so that I could have been left to my own means, and not pushed for a little extra always. That would have saved me so much misery. 
6. Had been more closer to my Mom back then. I’m so close to her now that I miss not being that, then.
7. Had a no-boys world for myself back then.
8. Got into blogging at that time.
9. Got over my fear for animals.
10. Learnt dancing.
11. Learn Radio Jockeying
12. Tried wood-crafting, Craftwork on professional levels, Interior Designing, Cooking, Managed a library.
13. Traveled a lot more with friends.
14. Last but not the least, after having tried my hand at everything, chosen a field I truly loved, and being pursuing that by the age of 25.


I think I can keep the list going on and on. But, I think the crux is in there mostly.

Women

“Women,…. make a man want to shoot himself in the head and be done with it.”


This pretty much sums what women do to a man in a relationship, as per a man’s perspective. You ask any man whose been in a serious relationship, and he would agree to this. I read this somewhere and really liked it. So, you can take this to be true too. Or, you could go the hard way and figure it out yourself. And, come to the same conclusion 🙂


But, is that how I, your Mom, would explain the relationship between herself and your father? No. It goes much deeper than this. And I sincerely hope that your dad, despite agreeing with above, would say that I’m the best thing that happened to him. 🙂


Love is the best emotion, a great support and a continuous fall-back when it happens at the right time, at the right age, to the right person. But, if it goes wrong, as it often does, it leaves a lot of scars to yourself and to all others involved. 


That is why, it’s best to let it happen on it’s own, at it’s own time and pace. Not to go looking for it. I know it’s easier said than done. But, when I got married to your Dad, I penned the following lines.
” Love is like a tree which blossoms and grows as long as we both keep watering it.”


This means that as long as we both want to be together and wish to keep loving each other, we’ll keep making efforts. We’ll do whatever it takes to be together, no matter what the odds. But, the moment someone grows out of it and stops watering the love tree, love will fade out and will die one day. 


Since it’s a tree which needs continuous or at least periodic attention, it’s best to have it once you’re settled in life. Perhaps, that’s the reason people get married or chose their partners once they are settled in their careers. 


There are lot many ups and downs that come in a relationship. The different expectations, difference in humans make it a big effort to make it work together. But, once you’re beyond that point, it’s a great support to have. The kind of warmth and freedom you feel, to know that you’ve someone who understands you, and wouldn’t mock you if you cry…it’s a precious thing to have. When it is backed with a marriage, the whole society, the world tries to help you deal with it. But, when it’s outside the wedlock, you agree to face a lot of it and much more, alone.


Well, these things will come when you’re seriously in love with the girl. If you’re not, please honor me with this one rule which I would like you to follow.
No matter what state you’re in, whatever your expectations are from the lady, always remember to respect her. They are more than just sex objects and a show-off for your friends. You maybe immature but your misdeeds/mishandling can shape/de-shape someone’s future. And, you don’t need to go too far to spoil it. Girls are too tender and their hearts can be broken by just playing with their feelings. You would meet a lot of girls who would show to be very hard and tom-boyish on the face of it, but inside, they all come from the same species. Trust me! 


If you ever are in a situation where you never felt for her but she feels for you, please spare her the sympathies and be honest. Have the courage and be honest and tell her your real feelings. It may hurt her then but she would respect you much much more than if you rather accept her and be dishonest with her.


Anay, I know the post is too short and the topic is too wide. Hope it is a tiny bit useful.


Love,
Mom.

Walk with my son

Anay has started walking almost by himself. Well, it’s still almost coz I feel that his balance has not yet strengthened fully and it’ll need some more time for him to be called as ‘walking’.
On Sunday evening, I took him downstairs for his usual evening outing. Normally, we take him to the swings, get him to take some rides, occasionally sit on bench while he ponders around, and then head back home. All this activity takes around 30 minutes, at max. I know, that’s like too less for a kid. But, that’s the maximum I can roam around him.
So, this Sunday, I let him roam rather than take him to the swings. And, to my surprise, he didn’t go to the swings. He went to the shrubs around…touched their leaves, then walked some more. Went to the badminton area. He would silently look at me, whenever he needed my help, in let’s say, climbing the stairs. I don’t know how but his body language, his eyes communicate whatever there is for him to say. 🙂 It’s a nice feeling. It feels like it’s just a mom-son thing, even if it’s not. 😛
So, I took him around the society. He  went everywhere. He directed the walk and never myself. He picked a feather of a pigeon, watched the birds flying in the sky, looked at the sky-rocketing towers in the society, at the balconies and the under-wears drying there. Basically, everything that makes the world, makes our life.

It seemed like I was showing him the world. It seemed like it was a walk together. I understood what they meant when they said “Best friends are those with whom you don’t talk and still it’s the best conversation you had”. I mean, I never thought that a blabbering person like me could ever understand such  a silent conversation. But, my son brought that experience to me through this walk.

It was really a walk to remember.

To add to the tit-bits happening, Anay has started taking a lot of interest in girls suddenly 😛
On multiple occasions he has shown biased nature, inclining towards girls than boys. Isn’t it too early, kid?? Well, as they say in hindi “poot ke pair paalne mein nazar aa jate hain”.

For the fun for readers, let me put down the instances which have forced us family-members to see that he’s actually a lady’s man!
1. Me, T and my FIL had gone to dentist. MIL wasn’t well so we took Anay along. At the dentist, in the waiting area, FIL was trying to keep him busy with a key-bunch while I and T went on with our doc visit. Anay forcefully takes the keys from FIL, gives it to the lady (in her teens/20s) sitting next. She gives it back to him, he takes it then puts it back on her palm. Does this thrice. Then, she playfully, closes her fist with the keys inside and he gives a nice, lovely smile to her…almost blushing. She smiles and gives it back to him. Next, his boyfriend, sitting next tries to play the same game with Anay. He extends his hand to take the keys. Anay Darling extends his hand to give the keys and with the second hand, shoves off the big-guy’s hand. :O Whoa!! Man, you’re not just a flirt, you’re openly shooing off other guys. Hang On! Your mom is not able to catch up!
2. We were walking at night while Anay was enjoying the swings with MIL and FIL. A girl comes to the swings (around 5 yrs of age). He starts going behind her. Then, takes her hand and starts walking with her. MIL and FIL call him and he doesn’t care to listen. When the girl’s dad comes and takes him to the swing, he stands and watches behind her, hoping to get her back.

Man!! I know all men are same but wouldn’t he take some time and be a boy or just a child before he starts on to become a man!? I don’t know if I’m happy to know he’s straight or am concerned to know that I know this fact so soon!!?
🙂

Take Care Anay. Buckle up Swati Garg! God be with both! 🙂

Protect your dream

Just the other day at work, we were discussing about a fellow colleague. It happened to be his anniversary that day and we came to know that it had been 10 yrs since he got married. That brought the question on how old was he exactly. And, we realized he was well in his late-30s. Now, that’s not something to be astonished about but just that the guy doesn’t look even 30+, forget nearing 40.
And, the major point that struck the chord was that he had been working since past almost 10 yrs. And, he was still a no-one.
No-one?
I mean, after working 10 yrs in the industry, I want to be someone people know, I want to be someone who stands out in the team, at least. Even if I’m not the best in the trade, or I don’t have exemplary patents or awards behind me, I definitely expect myself to be a person, whom people look up and think that she’s knowledgeable. She has some experience in the industry. Basically, I should have something beside me that sets a fresher or 3 yrs work-ex person from me.
The person in discussion was not such a person as yet. To say the least, he’s practically non-existent in the team.

And, this brought me to the revelation that such a state is also possible. There can be a state where I’m a 10-yrs work-ex and nobody in the team. Just another person working in PV team. Someone. Somebody. Nobody.

It felt like I had lost everything. I mean, I am already 6 yrs work-ex. 10-yrs is not that far and I don’t see anything happening to change the course drastically. If I do anything new, I would be a fresher grappling in the waters again. In times, when I should be well successful and settled, I’m still testing different waters. I felt like I’ve failed even before I tried.

But, perhaps, the problem is that we keep deadlines without thinking rationally. And, to somethings, like dreams, there are no dead-lines. If you want it, you’ll want it till the end. And, even if it takes your whole lifetime in achieving it, you won’t mind. Because, in the end, it’s you who matters and it’s your own ambition.

As Will Smith says in ‘Pursuit of Happyness’ —-
“Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something.Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do somethings themselves, they are gonna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period.”

ek duje ke liye :P

Me: Agar inhone mujhe is baar achhi hike nahi dee to main bangalore chali jaungi.
T: Tum chali jaogi? Sachhi mein chali jaogi?
Me: Haan.
T:    chali jaogi?
Me: Hmmm
T:    Humein chhod ke chali jaogi. Tum reh logi mere bina?
Me: Haan. Mujhe yakeen hai mera pyaar tumhein kheench layega wahan pe.
T:    Theek hai chali jana. 
Me: Tum reh loge mere bina?
T:    Mujhe yakeen hai mere pyaar ki wajah se tum plane pe chhadh hi nahi paogi aur wapis aa jaogi.


Me, T: Hahahahaha!