Change is the way of life. People change too.
The Gita says the body changes too. you had a different body when you were a kid, you have a different one now since you’re an adult.
A friend once told me that when you try to change someone, something else will change too. So, make changes cautiously.
I’ve always remembered it and tried not to make any changes to my partner.
But, one brings a lot of changes, no matter they wish it or not. Yesterday, Tarun was mentioning that how is preference for movies has changed. He also doesn’t feel like going for the violent movies that mostly guys love (Gangs of Wasseypur II was in question, which I had refused to go to). He said whether one likes it or not, it happens.
I thought silently, was I pushing my opinion on him all this time? No. I always try to hear what he wants to do. If he even as much as says it, I try to accompany him to what he wants to do. But, he never says much.
Is that a problem? Well, no. I think that’s the way he is. Is there a problem with me? Am I too imposing? No. That’s the way I’ve always been. Am I doing something deliberate to change him? No. I’m changing him just by existing with him.
I really loved and liked the person I married. I still love the person I married.
But, will I be able to love the person I’m changing him into? I am not sure. I’m scared on that.
There are changes which I’m seeing in him which I’m not liking. They are not changes I wished but they are perhaps caused by me. Can I do something to revert those changes? Can I do something to not cause any further changes? Well….
I know of one thing which could be my problem and reason for his changes. I could work on it and try to fix it.
But, haven’t I always known the problem and consciously tried to avoid it? Yes, I have. But, that is the way I am. And, if I change myself, then isn’t it again the defeat of all purpose?
I think change is inevitable. You cannot fight it. You can just hope its a positive one. And, if its not, then hope you’re able to deal with it.