Another Day, Another Dream

As T is getting more aggressive and decided on starting his venture, I’m feeling the need to be with my family. I’m feeling the need to be with my son. To be there for him. I know he will be well-taken care of, well loved and tendered, even without me, but, what’s parenting if ‘parents’ are not involved in the growth of the child.

Living with in-laws, a woman (working, more so) can drift to being not there at all, for the child. My routine is such that while I have time to spend with my child, there’s no activity that I’m totally involved with, with him. That is, I can think and do something with him but there’s nothing which is have-to-do-and-can’t-skip thing, involving him and me.

When we return from office, if we return by 7, I get around half-an-hour before I can start with the dinner. If we get later than that, then I don’t get that time also. I immediately have to rush and get into the kitchen. It’s not that my MIL is waiting for me  to come and prepare dinner. She does the preparation if we are late. But, from my time-table, the half-hour gone is the half-hour-of-rest gone. After finishing dinner, clearing the kitchen, cleaning A’s bottles, I’m tired. By this time, it’s already 10.00. And, it’s super active time for A. He plays with his grand-parents, going to-and-fro between our room and theirs. In this time, me and T would chat about whatever the day has been. Then, we would doze off. I know, perhaps, this is the time when I should try and spend some time with A. But, having no concrete plan of what-to-do with him, I doze off to sleep.

A’s eating, playing, book-reading, watching him play, listening to his broken-yet-perfect sentences, is all done by T, MIL or FIL. I’m listening from a far-away-land called kitchen, and smiling. But, A doesn’t see me. For all I know, I don’t exist in his life. I’m yet another Aunty who cooks and sleeps in their house. 

Things were very much different in Bangalore. With no one else with us, it was all on us to take him to park, run around the house to play with him, feed him. He would also have no option and run around the house looking for you in the kitchen or the balcony, picking clothes or hanging washed clothes. His life was inter-woven with mine. Preparing his breakfast was my responsibility. Making sure nutrients are going to him is my responsibility.

I know I couldn’t have done it without T. If, he decides to get into business, he would need a lot of his time for that. He will not have time or patience to spend on A, which he loves to do right now. 

If we continue with our in-laws, things will continue. I’ll have more time to spend with T and assist him in his business. A will be taken care of by MIL, just like she has always been taking care of. I can perhaps finally become the Entrepreneur that I so dream of. The perfect dream for any ambitious woman. Independence, rising high, going up the ladder.

But, that’s not what I want. I want to be the Mother of A first. First First First thing that I am in the multitude of things that a woman is. Then, I want to be the wife supporting her husband’s venture, and then a successful-entrepreneur whose going up in life (rising the ladder n everything).

I see a dream (during the day :P) where me, T and A are settled in Chandigarh. Me, a home-maker. Taking care of the two most important people of my life. Making a home for them. Making sure they are well-fed. Listening to their happenings of the day. And, managing everything from my home office. 

(If I ever share this with my Mom, she’ll call this another one of my dreams of a romantic world, page-3 people inspired)

(If I tell this to my Dad, he would point me to how I’ll never be able to be happy as a housewife. How respect is lost for the woman and how she loses her independence and worth. And, how I can get all that without leaving job too)

(If I tell it to T, he’ll tell me to wait for a week, and talk/think about it again 😛 :D) 

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9 thoughts on “Another Day, Another Dream

    1. 🙂 Welcome to my blog! Well, you can’t get a maid for everything, honey! The time we eat and finish, it’s around 10, and no maid comes at that time. I kept a maid for cooking but I got tired of her cooking myself. It was kind of a trade-off between good, healthy, yummy food vs relaxing time of 3 hrs. It’s okay as long as it’s the adults eating, but when your kid also comes into the equation, you tend to bend towards the right thing.

  1. Well, I don’t know what exact situations are there in your setting. But I believe working women should outsource as much house-work as they can. Otherwise they always end up short of time. It’s unfair that you work as much as the next person (a man) and still have to cook. This leads to general dissatisfaction.
    It surely must be nice to cook for your son but at the cost of spending time with him? I don’t know. You are the best judge.
    If possible, get a maid that stays at your place. Train her so the problem can be solved once and for all. It’s obviously easy for me to say. But do consider outsourcing all non-satisfying activities as much as you can.

    P.S. have been reading the blog for quite some time, just never commented.

    1. Point1 : Am NOT in unfair condition. I make sure the other person works as hard as me, if I’m cooking 😛 😉 So, trust me, it’s a total trade-off between me and him.

      Point2: Getting a full time maid, many people have suggested it. But, somehow, am still not comfortable with the idea myself. I can outsource everything but can’t ‘keep’ another person to the already-full-mad-house.

      Point 3: But, yes, your comment definitely brings me to the point where I should re-assess my situation and conditions and try to manage my time and work. There’s no point over-stressing or missing out on what matters more. 🙂

      PS: Good to know that you’ve been coming over. Do comment more often. It’s exciting to know that people really read you 🙂 😛

    1. Hahaha! Well, it works with Moms but never with MILs. Leaving the kitchen dirty and sleeping is like sleeping on a dirt-ridden bed. Totally a no-no! 😛

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