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And baby, we’re rolling! :)

Well, after grappling and trying to start something for my health, I mentioned that we visited the gym. (Well, yeah, we couldn’t go on to do a session, but we at least started)

So, yesterday, for the record, we joined the gym. 🙂

We went with Anay as he was not ready to let his Dad go. Already, he spends enough time without us. So, we decided to take him with us to the gym. The gym boasts of having a children-play-area where there are swings and stuff. But, the *Terms and Conditions* was that while they said there’s a care-taker till 8.00 PM for the kids, we learnt she’s mostly on leave. 

So, it was only me who could do the gym while DearHusband played baby-sitter to my son. I respect your sacrifice, hon! I totally do!

Well, I can’t begin to explain my enthusiasm, my thrill and my satisfaction on actually doing those exercises. While I had been going for our regular walk since past week, every day to ensure we get into the gear, this was totally a different experience. Did I mention that I got my running shoes!? How I wish I could journal each of my thoughts and little achievements in fulfilling this challenge. I cherish each and every step. Each and every one of it has been an endeavor, a silent battle, an achievement of its own.

So, continuing with my experience of gym, I could actually feel each one of those exercise working on different parts of my body. Different problems. Each one of the problem. The behind-the-neck-fat which aches every time I work long. The thighs during the cycling, which are giving competition to baby-elephant. The joint movement exercise which made me realize I had a problem moving my leg sideways.  

And then seeing that clock tick to the 15-minute boundary of cycling. 

After my zumba-class fiasco (well, lemme keep it for another post), I had started having trouble with my knee. That was causing me trouble every time I took stairs or if I walked for a long time. Or, kept standing for very long in the kitchen. I can say, pretty much, every day, I was having the knee pain. 

I was scared to board that cycle. I didn’t think I should be doing it at all with the knee thing. But, the physiotherapist was confident that there would be no trouble. Surprisingly and to my utmost happiness, he was right! 🙂 Doing that 15-minutes of cycling gave me more confidence than I have felt in an year perhaps. It boosted me to go on and finish the whole regime successfully, without panting or heaving.

Returning home, I was not just content on having done the gym, I could see the next Shilpa Shetty in the making!  😛 😀

Yo Man! Let’s get goin!

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Phew! I got over the limiting friction

Well, you must remember on how I had been trying to join something and start some fitness program in my daily life. But, it was just not happening.

Finally, after so many months of trying, not happening, trying, not happening, I and T went to the gym.

Well, it turned out pretty funny.

We put on our shoes, dressed up for the work-out. We reached the gym. We had talked to him a day before for some demo sessions. But, when we reached there, he said the shoes need to be running shoes, else you’re not permitted to enter the gym. (I was wearing those Mochi Roadies shoes. If they are supposedly good for Roadies Season, they should have been good for gym, no?! I wonder!!)

We came out sulking. I was particularly pissed with the guy and was thinking of puncturing his bike’s tyre. <Just Kiddin! :P> But, then T thought it’s just his job that he’s doing. Let’s forgive him this once.

Now, I didn’t want to go back home after starting off after so much preparation. I had pretty much announced to my MIL that we’ll be going to gym today onwards. Quickly did my bit with dinner, and had ventured out so enthusiastically. It would have been too much of a show-down.

So, I told T let’s just do a walk in the park, rather than going back. Let’s utilize this one hour we have taken out for our health.

So, finally, we walked. And, I was drained by the end of it.

And, I feel so fresh and happy. It’s been days since I felt this way. Light and Happy!

 

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Kiddo starts to speak

Well, he’s been technically speaking since last December. But, talking as a mode of expressing your opinion or need or choice, he did yesterday. July 17’2013 goes into my diary as a remarkable day and another milestone in A’s record-book.

Since quite some time, we have been hearing him say things. While many of his counter parts are still babbling and not able to say proper words, he actually speaks clear words and proper sentences. (Yippee! Am so Prrrroooud :P)  But, most of the times, what we would be hearing was our dialogues delivered back to us.

For example

Me: Anay, aur khaoge? (at some time, t1)

Another day, another time, t2, someone feeding Anay.

Anay: Anay, aur khaoge? <means, Anay wants to eat more.>

Hahahah! Other times, he’ll keep repeating our sentences as we say it, behind us. Like a tape recorder, running behind me, in record-and-play mode. Good thing was that he would know which one of the recordings to play, when 🙂

Now, yesterday, we’re driving in the car and someone is walking up a trash mound, by the side of the road, attending to nature’s call. This is a normal sight in this part of the world. So, my little one, already mumbling something or the other, pauses and says ‘Uncle deewar pe chadd rahe hain, susu karne jaa rahe hain’

:O

We had always heard of children speaking odd things and landing parents into awkward situations, once they start. For us, this was the day and this was the dialogue.

😀 We all had a hearty laugh.

And, let me add, this was not all. After reaching back home, when it was time for him to attend to his nature’s call, and I was cleaning him up, as he had done a messy job of it… he says ‘Mummy, Anay ko ulta pakad rakha hai, seedha to karo’

Both me and T were left dumb-struck staring at each other, with a common word on our mouths – ‘Bhaaai – saaab!!’

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Marriage – in Hindi

Two interesting thoughts on marriage.

1. Spouse should be complementary to each other -‘Complement’ is called ‘purak’ in Hindi. While when we read the same term in Mathematics or English, it makes you feel like the opposite to the other person, totally mismatching. But, the Hindi version makes the meaning come out.

2. Marriage/Relations are called ‘bandhan’ in Hindi – It’s a restriction…on everything called freedom and individualistic.

Well, that’s exactly what they are.

 

 

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I dropped the bomb

Well, any guesses on what the bomb would have been?

Ya, you guessed it right…. (What else could it have been?)

Did you just say – Ohhh… Myy… God!!?

Well, you understood the enormity of the situation quite well.

Who else could have been a moron like me to not understand the after-effects, to not understand the repurcussions such a step could bring.

Well, for the un-initiated, I finally told my MIL that I had thoughts on….on how it would be…. to live in two separate houses, close by, right opposite to each other…well, right next to each other.

I’ll give you a minute. To frame your obscenities. Or, to quieten your satirical laugh. Or, to frame your condolences for me. I’ll move on to explain how it happened…

We were having a regular Saturday. Just finished our lunch and were sitting chatting idly. I was talking of various things. She was telling her viewpoint on them. It was an open discussion…casual, honest, heart-to-heart, no compunctions or thoughts hidden.

And, that’s when it happened. Suddenly going just by instinct, I told her that I have this thing in mind. That it’s not something that T approves of or agrees to but I think it’ll be a good alternative, and will give me more time with A. I was thinking of how the idea would be to live in adjacent or directly facing two houses. (Didn’t I say that I was in that mode of being honest!? It was on my mind too much these days… 😦 )

She said a thing or two on how the world will laugh on the stupidity of living in a rental place when having a house in the same society. And, then the downpour began.

(What else were you expecting!?!)

And the epic Indian Family Drama ensued. Every time such a thing happens, she threatens ‘we’re moving back to our home’, T will give another of his threats. And there will be some more downpour. And the thing will be put to an end.

It’s funny how it ended this time. While she was in her threatening mode, and T was in his own,  I got furious and started getting angry on her. Not like violent or raised voices. Just angry. And, I told her that it was just a thought and if she didn’t like it, it can go to the dumps. What’s the point in creating such a fuss over it. And, how she was being partial between me and T. (She’s very high on how she treats me equal to her own children), coz she never cries when T says something silly or outrageous to her.

That’s how she stopped crying.

I had heard of the concept that if you want to calm someone down, or to calm someone angry, just get back on them angry. They will forget that they were angry with you. At least the worst will pass. I think the same thing worked here.

But, to tell you honestly, I don’t think it’s a perfect solution. Coz, though she stopped at that moment, the thing is not resolved. She doesn’t say anything but I can feel the bitterness in her heart when we go back home in the evening. She’s talking to me and I’m talking to her but I can feel the distance the whole thing has brought between us.

I don’t know if what I did, I should be extremely remorseful of it, or was it right. I know that I needed to get it out of my system. I needed for the truth to be out there in the open. If you really treat them like your parents, if you respect them like your parents, trust them to handle it too.

Not sure if things will improve or not, how they will improve. Whether I’ll get what I want or whether I’ve just moved farther away from my dream. I feel bad for hurting her. But, I feel a lot lighter knowing the fact that she knows what I feel. Of not having to repent 15 yrs down the line, that I never tried.

In the end, I don’t want to be ‘The Perfect Bahu’. I just want to be ‘me’.

 

 

 

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My Cub goes to school :)

It’s a historical day today. My little, innocent, sweetheart, eye-candy, apple of my eye…n all the other things sweet..son went to pre-school today. It was his first day to school. 

Though he has been to day-care in Bangalore before this, but somehow, the feeling, the thought has stuck us today. Really stuck. 

Ya, I know. He’s just going for 2.5 hrs and will be back soon. I know that he needed this escapade. He was getting bored at home and needed some new things.

It’s not that. 

It’s the realization that your sweet sweet baby has grown up. That he’s grown up enough to go into the big big world. Alone. 

I was not scared in the morning. But, visiting the school, being there for an hour, seeing him checking on ‘me’ every 15 minutes, seeing other children crying, wailing, trying to open the door.. to go out, to go to their Moms. I am scared now.

I am feeling so uncomfortable. 

A went to Day Care for 6 months in Bangalore. He used to be in that place from morning 9 AM to evening 5.30 PM. It was fucking 8 hrs office shift that he used to spend there. But, I never felt insecure. I felt him more safe there than in my own hands. That woman never showed me how he was doing inside. Sometimes I had to leave him crying with her. But, I was sure that he would be fine. I had that much confidence in her. I never saw any child fighting with another. Or, some child crying and not been attended to. And, it was not just gut-feeling. My son was happy when he returned home. 

I was quite happy in the morning. Just a little moist and emotional to know that my little wonder is growing up. Happy to think that he would come up with new things to keep talking about. But, after returning from the school, I’m nervous. I’m scared. I’m uncertain.

I did my research. Of the schools in the area. I iterated and re-iterated. And, I made the best possible choice. 

I’m missing Bangalore. I’m so missing Bangalore for it’s education. I wish I could give that environment to A here.