It’s a historical day today. My little, innocent, sweetheart, eye-candy, apple of my eye…n all the other things sweet..son went to pre-school today. It was his first day to school.
Though he has been to day-care in Bangalore before this, but somehow, the feeling, the thought has stuck us today. Really stuck.
Ya, I know. He’s just going for 2.5 hrs and will be back soon. I know that he needed this escapade. He was getting bored at home and needed some new things.
It’s not that.
It’s the realization that your sweet sweet baby has grown up. That he’s grown up enough to go into the big big world. Alone.
I was not scared in the morning. But, visiting the school, being there for an hour, seeing him checking on ‘me’ every 15 minutes, seeing other children crying, wailing, trying to open the door.. to go out, to go to their Moms. I am scared now.
I am feeling so uncomfortable.
A went to Day Care for 6 months in Bangalore. He used to be in that place from morning 9 AM to evening 5.30 PM. It was fucking 8 hrs office shift that he used to spend there. But, I never felt insecure. I felt him more safe there than in my own hands. That woman never showed me how he was doing inside. Sometimes I had to leave him crying with her. But, I was sure that he would be fine. I had that much confidence in her. I never saw any child fighting with another. Or, some child crying and not been attended to. And, it was not just gut-feeling. My son was happy when he returned home.
I was quite happy in the morning. Just a little moist and emotional to know that my little wonder is growing up. Happy to think that he would come up with new things to keep talking about. But, after returning from the school, I’m nervous. I’m scared. I’m uncertain.
I did my research. Of the schools in the area. I iterated and re-iterated. And, I made the best possible choice.
I’m missing Bangalore. I’m so missing Bangalore for it’s education. I wish I could give that environment to A here.