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I dropped the bomb

Well, any guesses on what the bomb would have been?

Ya, you guessed it right…. (What else could it have been?)

Did you just say – Ohhh… Myy… God!!?

Well, you understood the enormity of the situation quite well.

Who else could have been a moron like me to not understand the after-effects, to not understand the repurcussions such a step could bring.

Well, for the un-initiated, I finally told my MIL that I had thoughts on….on how it would be…. to live in two separate houses, close by, right opposite to each other…well, right next to each other.

I’ll give you a minute. To frame your obscenities. Or, to quieten your satirical laugh. Or, to frame your condolences for me. I’ll move on to explain how it happened…

We were having a regular Saturday. Just finished our lunch and were sitting chatting idly. I was talking of various things. She was telling her viewpoint on them. It was an open discussion…casual, honest, heart-to-heart, no compunctions or thoughts hidden.

And, that’s when it happened. Suddenly going just by instinct, I told her that I have this thing in mind. That it’s not something that T approves of or agrees to but I think it’ll be a good alternative, and will give me more time with A. I was thinking of how the idea would be to live in adjacent or directly facing two houses. (Didn’t I say that I was in that mode of being honest!? It was on my mind too much these days… 😦 )

She said a thing or two on how the world will laugh on the stupidity of living in a rental place when having a house in the same society. And, then the downpour began.

(What else were you expecting!?!)

And the epic Indian Family Drama ensued. Every time such a thing happens, she threatens ‘we’re moving back to our home’, T will give another of his threats. And there will be some more downpour. And the thing will be put to an end.

It’s funny how it ended this time. While she was in her threatening mode, and T was in his own,  I got furious and started getting angry on her. Not like violent or raised voices. Just angry. And, I told her that it was just a thought and if she didn’t like it, it can go to the dumps. What’s the point in creating such a fuss over it. And, how she was being partial between me and T. (She’s very high on how she treats me equal to her own children), coz she never cries when T says something silly or outrageous to her.

That’s how she stopped crying.

I had heard of the concept that if you want to calm someone down, or to calm someone angry, just get back on them angry. They will forget that they were angry with you. At least the worst will pass. I think the same thing worked here.

But, to tell you honestly, I don’t think it’s a perfect solution. Coz, though she stopped at that moment, the thing is not resolved. She doesn’t say anything but I can feel the bitterness in her heart when we go back home in the evening. She’s talking to me and I’m talking to her but I can feel the distance the whole thing has brought between us.

I don’t know if what I did, I should be extremely remorseful of it, or was it right. I know that I needed to get it out of my system. I needed for the truth to be out there in the open. If you really treat them like your parents, if you respect them like your parents, trust them to handle it too.

Not sure if things will improve or not, how they will improve. Whether I’ll get what I want or whether I’ve just moved farther away from my dream. I feel bad for hurting her. But, I feel a lot lighter knowing the fact that she knows what I feel. Of not having to repent 15 yrs down the line, that I never tried.

In the end, I don’t want to be ‘The Perfect Bahu’. I just want to be ‘me’.





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