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Not in the mood to work

After 3 weeks with at least one work-day off, you ought to have trouble settling into routine again!

It doesn’t matter that you have been working 5 days a week since.. forever and getting a holiday in the middle of a week should be considered a bonus, not a routine. But, you see, by the law of Newton, the inertia changes. And, now my body has accepted the routine where I am expected to work for only 4 days or even lesser. Never More!

Hence, can I say ‘Hence proved’? and  today be declared a holiday or an off-day…?

…Okay! Okay!

If it’s too much, I will settle for a half-day off too. Is that okay? Please!!!!!!!!

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Half-Time Half-Pay

My company is relatively a start-up and very cooperative in providing the women employees the right work-life balance. So, if a woman needs/wishes, she can opt for half-time, half-pay.

I don’t need it because my son is well taken care of by my In-laws. I miss spending more time with him, but it’s not a requirement. Perhaps, I feel like our work-hours have become long because of my depending on Tarun for returning. Also, ever since we started the gym, my time away has increased. I want to balance it.

I am not totally comfortable with this option. And, I do want to do something to improve the work-life balance. I want to spend more time with Anay but I’m not sure what exactly I would do with him in that time. Would I be just idling it all away sleeping? Or, will I waste it talking to MIL or doing house-hold stuff. Or, would I actually be able to come up with things to do with Anay.

I am liking my job a lot. I am liking the challenges coming my way. I want to do it justice. I want to make my mark here. I’ll lose a lot of it if I take this option.

Should I take this bargain? 

I am very uncertain.

Tell me, what do you think I should do? 

Please do respond. Queries, thoughts, comments, suggestions, everything is welcome.

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Kiss on the mouth

Yikes! Ummmmmmmm!

That’s the simplest way I can describe my first kiss. From my very own son, Anay. Hahaha!

Well, it happened yesterday. And, though such things and subjects are not generally mentioned in India, this is something that I MUST catalog in my blog. My personal journey. And, this was a milestone. 

Normally, I keep kissing my son on his face, his cheeks, his head, his arms…. pretty much every inch of his body, barring a few specific inches 😛 AND, kissing on mouth. That is something that I never did, or was not permitted, I should say, by my husband. He thought it was too ‘unhygienic’. It was kind of an unspoken rule. 

But, yesterday, the most hilarious thing happened. And the unavoidable, the most crucial in a mother-son relationship, happened.

So, I and Tarun are reading out a book to our son. And, Tarun and Anay are in their most high-spirits and animated forms. All with hands and jumps and what nots. So, while I read out animatedly about Tiddler, the fish, the Dad kept doing actions to show what the words ‘squiggle’, ‘wiggle’ etc meant. Anay, seeing his dad jumping, flipping and what not, started copying him. (He’s a big copy-cat, Anay!).

And, suddenly, the Dad realizes he’s extremely happy with the Mummy’s rendition of the book and kisses her. And, since the son was copying all that Dad was doing, holds Dear Mummy, and comes kissing her.

Mummy Dearest, turns her face, left, then right, to avoid the mouth. But, No! It has to be the mouth. And, there comes a smack. My eyes are tight closed, knowing what was coming.  A kiss full of saliva, and soft delicious lips. 

Hahahaha!

And since next expression on Dad’s face was of horror and eyes tight closed, the monkey apes that too! And starts blinking his eyes. 

Ohh God! The laughter, the giggles, the splits I was in…. and the face-palm expressions of Tarun. I just couldn’t stop laughing. Tarun looked like he’s defeated. He’s lost the battle of exclusive rights to his wife. I mean, I don’t know what was exactly that he underwent. But, for me, it was all pure hilarious. And, I totally loved the experience. I laughed on and on and on! I mean, endlessly. And, I still can’t avoid laughing when I think of it.

Can’t wait for more of it. 😀

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Raising children without raising a hand

I come from a family where we were punished, and sometimes beaten-up if we did something wrong.
For good 25 yrs of my life, till I wasn’t married and didn’t have any kids, I never saw anything wrong in it.
It’s something that I’ve been brought up with, and I saw happening same with other children in my generation too.
So, there was nothing odd.

It’s only after I delivered Anay and I came to know that Tarun’s family, children are never hit. Never hand-held. They can be shouted at, punished by silent-treatment, or given a wide-eye kinda thing. But, no hitting. It was appalling, at the outset. I could see so many faults in it. I could see how those children have just been spoilt by the methodology.

But, call in MIL’s fear, or whatever you may, Anay is 2.5 yrs old now, and we have hardly ever slapped him.
We have slipped once or twice, but never more. And, for the un-initiated (non-parents), kids start getting ‘behaved’ by the age of 1.5 yrs.

The times when we hit him (either me or Tarun), it was not that ‘he’ did something outrageous and totally unacceptable. Those were the times when we lost control. We lost our temper. We were pissed off or perhaps, tired of everything in ‘our’ lives and hence, took it out on him.

From being a believer of the institution of disciplining the child through capital punishment, I have come to the grounds where I am not so sure. I don’t think that’s really the right way of dealing with them. And, I have started to feel that perhaps, the times when we are hitting them, we are more taking out our frustration than a really, necessary step towards their discipline.

Yes, Anay mis-behaves. Yes, there are times when I think he must be stopped. But, I’ve never seen children stopping because they were hit. They just need to be cleared that this is not to be done. The ‘fear’ needs to be set in their minds through something.

But that ‘something’ doesn’t need to be hitting.

I remember an incidence when I was visiting my parents. Anay must have been less than an yr of age. It was around 2 am in the night. Anay woke up. He usually did if he was hungry. I had given him milk. I had tried putting him in my lap and put him to sleep. He would sleep as long as he was in my lap but would start crying again whenever I tried to put him down so that I could sleep. This continued for almost 1.5 hrs and I got very tired and frusrtated. My mother was sleeping with me. She also got upset and said ‘Laga isko ek. Pareshan kar diya’.

😐

I didn’t. I don’t know what was wrong with him. I don’t know why he was not able to sleep. But, I knew, even in my most frustrated state, hitting was not the solution. And, there was no mistake of his for which he should be hit.

As parents, it’s our responsibility to figure out what best way is to make children understand that ‘this is not acceptable. You can’t do that’. But, choosing hitting as the answer is just our weak character.

Today, they are small and you can hit them to drive the point home. But, once they grow old, they would still need to be explained few things. And, then, you won’t have the option of hitting. And then, you’ll not have any way of explaining that this is not acceptable to you.

Everyone – who has been brought up by parents who thought hitting was right, think again when you have your kids. Is it the only solution? Better not bring in into practice coz there will be times when you’ll feel guilty. You’ll feel that you actually used them as a punching bag more than your kids, to take out your frustration of something else.

And, no, kids don’t forget when they grow up. They remember those hits. And, it hurts always.

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Quote for the day

Such a powerful statement! Inspiring.

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”             ~Muhammad Ali

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City of Lakes – Udaipur

First, Udaipur is a big city and has a lot to offer so 3 days is a short time for it. I missed a lot of spots I wish I had been to. And, I don’t like rushing through the spots just to cover places.

We were living near Pichola Lake. That’s the old-Udaipur. So, you see lots of forts, which are now converted to hotels. Sometimes, I even felt that few of them have been purposefully constructed to give you a feel of a fort/haveli to charge more. 😛 Especially, Hotel Udaigarh, where we ended up staying, thanks to the site- Agoda

The hotel is still under construction and while it is coming up fine, I would rather have come to it an year later than now. There are lots of details which need filling up for it to become a functional, likable hotel. :-/

Anyways, old-Udaipur. You find so many foreigners there that you feel like you’re somewhere outside India.

The place has narrow, rising and falling streets, which remind you of the eras gone by. You can pretty much picture the artisans and the traders putting up bazaars there. Women walking on roads, wearing ghagra-choli, carrying a child side-ways. ..And, palanquins being mounted/unmounted, for the royals, at the lake side. It’s so …historical!

Turn around the corner, and you find a Rajasthani woman, turning around, looking back at you with those beautiful, earthy eyes, holding her dupatta in her mouth, partially covering her face. It’s so real, but it’s only a painting hanging on an artist’s cafe.

Go further, and you can see metal cages and other sorts hanging in a shop, somewhere there will be pretty bandhej dupattas/stoles, mojaris or tailored suits. And then there was the German Bakery. I have to say, it had the most amazing of Date and Walnut Pie. Have it with the local tea (not the machine one) and you’re gonna keep coming back to Udaipur just for that experience.

I totally loved the whole modern-mixed-with-old feel the area had. No cars honking around you. Only autos. (The streets are too narrow for cars to reach in). Some places, even autos can’t go and you have to get down and walk. But, all of it, adds to the charm.

The modern-Udaipur, is totally opposite. You get a glimpse of it when you visit Fatehsagar lake. The open, broad roads, well-developed markets and houses, road-side chaat/coffee shops. The good thing is, it’s quite clean. While I found Lake Pichola still dirty, Lake Fatehsagar and the vicinity was much more cleaner and better kept. Also, people are quite civilized. Actually, if you compare with NCR, where-ever you go, you find people nicer and much better behaved. They even offer you help. 😛

The best view of the trip: Has to be the Nehru Garden in the middle of Fatehsagar lake. I went there in the evening. The waters, the lone-standing Sajjangarh fort on the tall mountain in the front, watching a bird take a long flight. Ohh, the experience was magical. Feel the breeze, the water, the sound, the silence. I could almost imagine myself coming there often in evenings for some quite. It was beautiful.

At the time when I went to the garden, I didn’t know it was the famous Sajjangarh fort. It just reminded me of Hyannis Port of Daniel MacGregor (a character in a novel I read). In the novel, he creates a big, beautiful castel-like house on the top of the mountain, quite aloof from the city. It’s kind of a foundation he puts there. Which his family, his children, his grand-children can come to. I loved the idea. And, I loved the picture of it in that fort. 🙂

I wish to go again there soon. I can’t accept not having visited all parts of that beautiful city.

 

 

 

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The City of Clouds – Mt. Abu and The City of Lakes – Udaipur

I went on a vacation. Yay!

It was a long weekend here. With just 1 leave, we managed to get an escape of 4 days from the maddening life. Tarun, Anay and me, together with the family of Tarun’s friend. They are also 3 of them, the friend, wife and son.  The son is a few months elder to Anay so we all had a great company.

Our trip included a quick trip to Mt. Abu and 3-days stay in Udaipur. Having the problem of motion-sickness induced in a journey to the mountains, I never enjoy the mountains as much as I would love to. Sadly, Anay seems to have inherited the sickness. Thankfully, once there, we both are good and dandy to enjoy the scenic beauty.

The rains, the view…ohh, it was breath-taking. Mt. Abu showed me how living in clouds would be like. I mean, we’re walking on a busy market street at night, and we can feel the misty clouds around us. And, No! It’s not fog. Their, in that place, you can differentiate that this is not fog but actually clouds. It’s a wow experience, totally unforgettable! It was all very green. Together with slippery and dangerous roads.

You can see people living closer to nature here. Langoors (another breed of monkeys who are more dangerous and can harm humans, if provoked) roam casually. People use wood to heat big cauldrons for supplying hot water to hotel rooms. You can see the contrast in the lives of city-people and mountain-people in these day-to-day activities. I don’t think I can ever stay calmly at a place within 10 yards of a langoor. 😛

Because it was raining, there were multiple water falls we saw on our way. As per our car driver, these are not coming from any where up, but actually from within the rocks. Basically the rocks soak in water and keep them inside. During rains, they overflow and hence the pretty water-falls. And, it’s a splendid sight.

After the local sight seeing it was time for us to move to Udaipur. And, wasn’t I anxiously waiting to be in the city of Bandhej, Rajasthani folks and the likes. You can summarize it into one word – ‘Shopping’ 😀

So, we reach Udaipur through car. The drive was around 3 hrs from Mt.Abu and a lovely sight. I didn’t get much of it as I slept through half of it. Sorry, plz blame it on the heavy paranthas I had before starting on it.

One word of caution : Never book hotels from Agoda.com. That’s what we did and had a terrible time. I’ll leave the sorry story for some other time.

Udaipur : To be continued.