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Yes, he’s a kind one!

Dear Diary,

 
Yesterday was a good day. 
 
As you would know, I had been quite upset since quite some days because of the lack in connection which I feel, or rather receive from Anay. My time spent with him is a major cause of it. I knew I had to make some changes. So, finally, after lot of humble discussions with Tarun, I put my foot down on Monday, and got us to agree that I leave early for home while he can come back later.
Since Anay was not well, I left after lunch on Monday and I left by 5.15 PM on Tuesday. 
Anay’s first response on seeing me was common on both the days – “Papa kahan hain? Papa kab aayenge?”
 
This can be attributed to the fact that we used to come together so he expects him at the same time, as I come. But, it is also true that he enjoys more with his Dad than me. 
I don’t blame him.
The way Tarun plays with Anay and gives him the attention and care, whoever got that attention, would be hooked to him. That’s how it started with me too. 
But, I will keep trying. I don’t want to be at a competition with his father for the attention of our child, but I definitely want my fair share.
 
So, yesterday, when I reached home, I played with him in the park. I took him to the society temple. He loves going there because he gets the prasad there 😛 Then, after one more round of swings, we went back home. I knew my MIL would be expecting me to prepare dinner after returning home early. I didn’t want to get into kitchen so soon. I wanted some more time with Anay. 
I knew it was my own mind-block. She had no issues with preparing dinner. But, I know that if she has to do it every day, the ego/superiority/equality/whatever will kick in. So, I pawed the grounds carefully and requested her to prepare. I told her I’ll take care of the rest. And, as expected, she didn’t mind! At all! 🙂 🙂
 
So, here I had. One more hour with my son. I picked up a book that we could read. But, without the Dad’s continuous echos of ‘Wow’ and ‘Aaaaaahhs’, the book sounded so boring. Even to me! I chucked it. No competing on the joking front. His Dad is the best. Hands down! 
 
So, I decided on videos. This was new. Something his Dad had never done. And, what was on my mind since some time. So, I started a video of a story we had often narrated to him at sleep-time. And, he totally loved watching it. He could even relate to the incidents and what would happen next 🙂 Wow! Feels great! 🙂
 
And, if this was not enough. God decided to go all-out on giving me a good, happy evening. So, finally the kids (Anay’s cousin is visiting) dozed off to sleep, while watching the video. Right at 8.00 PM. 
That meant, we had a nice peaceful dinner. I didn’t mind feeding everyone and then cleaning up kitchen and whatever other work there was. I was at peace within me. And, we even got time to go for a walk after dinner. The two of us. Again something that we had not been able to get since quite some time now. 🙂
 
Thank You God! You’re really a generous one up there! 🙂 
 
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The Daily Diaries

Dear Diary,

 
T got his 10 yr visa initiated yesterday from office. Life is going topsy turvy. It’s become quite the talk of the household, how we’ve been roaming around ever since we got married. God knows what she infers from it. I have tried to accept the fact that my instincts are normally right and if I feel strongly for something, then perhaps, it is so. So, if I really feel like living away or separate from them, then perhaps it is in the best of the interests of everybody. I know she’s a strong personality and has her do’s and don’ts, which is the baseline problem. But, I guess, so am I. I don’t want her to change. I don’t want her to change me either. 
 
We both want a good life for ourselves and for our family. And there’s nothing wrong in that. 
 
She’s a good woman and I respect her for that. But, I can’t be her. My thoughts and thinking cannot be same as hers. I don’t want them to be same either. I want to live in harmony. I want her to be happy and let us be happy too. Sometimes, it feels like maybe, just maybe, two floor thing maybe the perfect solution for all of us. But, other times, am sure of its doom. Coz, she can’t leave us alone. She just can’t give us the space that we need. But, then, our needs are also ever-increasing. So, it’s a catch-22 situation which can never be fulfilled. 
 
T is quite excited about the prospect of getting to travel to different places. I, on the other hand, am not sure how it’ll work. I am scared at one end, on how I’ll handle stuff, behind him. But, in all this, at least I am decided on reducing my work- hours. I am sure I want to take that reduced hours, reduced pay option. I want to give a healthy time and life to my child. I want to be a part of his upbringing and raise him the way “I” want. Hope this change will do the needful. 
I have understood that these are small battles that you have to fight daily to get the best for your child, as a mother. The good thing is that everyone in the family is adjusting enough to agree to disagree. And, perhaps, that’s the reason of conflicts on the other times too 🙂
 
But, then that’s what is family. 
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Real vs Fake

*The post has been written in bits and pieces, so it may look a little off*

Today morning, while driving to work, I was talking to Tarun about a colleague.

He works in our company and is in Tarun’s team. A bright guy, intelligent and smart, but still a simpleton.
He’s from a far-off place in Rajasthan, where his parents are perhaps not even educated. He went to school because some teacher came to their village to get the children enrolled. I think that should explain the humble surroundings he came from. That’s the peak of poverty, illiteracy or unawareness, or whatever for me.
But, the post is not about his background or how far he has come from it. The post is about his simpleness. Whenever you talk to him, which involves any personal information about him, like his family, his wife’s pregnancy, his parents, or himself, he never hides anything. He’ll give you all the information. Holding nothing back.
This is so less-seen an attribute. This is pure trust. Trust and faith he shows in you, the listener. And the listener is not someone specific, he’s that way with everybody. 

Nowadays, even the people you call ‘friends’, you know, who are actually a little more than colleagues. They chat with you, listen to your silly jokes and laugh wholeheartedly. But, even there, you can see some faking. You can see that they laugh with you and you laugh with them because you have reached an MoU of sorts amongst each other. They don’t really, purely enjoy you or your company.

The people who are honest and clear, they are so light. So light to talk to, so light to be with. And, how coincidental it is that the person is a non-Delhiite by birth. Both me and Tarun enjoy talking to him.