T got his 10 yr visa initiated yesterday from office. Life is going topsy turvy. It’s become quite the talk of the household, how we’ve been roaming around ever since we got married. God knows what she infers from it. I have tried to accept the fact that my instincts are normally right and if I feel strongly for something, then perhaps, it is so. So, if I really feel like living away or separate from them, then perhaps it is in the best of the interests of everybody. I know she’s a strong personality and has her do’s and don’ts, which is the baseline problem. But, I guess, so am I. I don’t want her to change. I don’t want her to change me either.
We both want a good life for ourselves and for our family. And there’s nothing wrong in that.
She’s a good woman and I respect her for that. But, I can’t be her. My thoughts and thinking cannot be same as hers. I don’t want them to be same either. I want to live in harmony. I want her to be happy and let us be happy too. Sometimes, it feels like maybe, just maybe, two floor thing maybe the perfect solution for all of us. But, other times, am sure of its doom. Coz, she can’t leave us alone. She just can’t give us the space that we need. But, then, our needs are also ever-increasing. So, it’s a catch-22 situation which can never be fulfilled.
T is quite excited about the prospect of getting to travel to different places. I, on the other hand, am not sure how it’ll work. I am scared at one end, on how I’ll handle stuff, behind him. But, in all this, at least I am decided on reducing my work- hours. I am sure I want to take that reduced hours, reduced pay option. I want to give a healthy time and life to my child. I want to be a part of his upbringing and raise him the way “I” want. Hope this change will do the needful.
I have understood that these are small battles that you have to fight daily to get the best for your child, as a mother. The good thing is that everyone in the family is adjusting enough to agree to disagree. And, perhaps, that’s the reason of conflicts on the other times too 🙂
But, then that’s what is family.