So many thoughts. ..so many undercurrents. I have loads of thoughts during the day. Sometimes I even wonder if that’s normal or psychic. Then, that’s another thought. :p
Today there was a family function. Both of us had to take a leave. N this time of d yr, its obviously n earned leave. N going by my penchant for breaks from monotony, almost every month, this leave is pretty much gonna end me wid a pay cut. I don’t mind losing pay for something I enjoy, but losing it for functions….esp ones involving fake smiles and double-entended dialogues…well, they pinch. Huh! I try to look at d brighter side by assuming dat I am paying for my fun leave nd nt dis one.
The bride’s mother has been diagnosed wid cancer. She had been treated of it once but the cancer resurfaced and is now almost reached d terminal stage. D whole wedding has been planned in a rush. Naturally, a lot of work befell on the family n the relatives, which earlier would have been taken care of by the mother. Now, ppl take most advantage of d opportunity to show their importance and secondly… go birsirk in the do’s n the dont’s of matrimonial traditions. They even go on to say about the mother that ‘let’s see how much seva(service) she gets done in her last days’.
(For the uninitiated: that’s a common thing said about old ppl ailing and bed-ridden, almost dead but not just.. dying. In the process, needing lot of attention and help from the family members). Well, the lady in question is hardly 50 and the parents are both beyond 70.
My two thoughts:
1. How important it is to be physically fit at least till you are relieved of your duties towards your child. Here the mother had no fault or option because cancer has no definite reasons. But for me, well, I’m not perfectly healthy even today. Lord knows wat state I would be in when it’s time for my son’s marriage. I definitely want him to have me by his side than feel orphaned at such an imp time of his life.
2. What is the point of this whole joint family? The woman served this family…these parents, this man, his kids, his relatives and what not, all her life. And now, in her last final days, instead of deriving compassion or some pity, she is only deriving retorts and angst from people for taking so long to die. Yes, the husband stands by her and takes care of her but none other. This just proves the importance of marriage to me. Not of a joint family.
I seem a step farther from understanding my destiny than accepting it.