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Days like these..

Dear Diary,

The heart cries but the eyes don’t. Not sure when I learnt this art. Or, perhaps the eyes have dried up. I remember, till my days of adolescence, I used to cry easy. Not like crying to the girly stuff like losing ear-rings, or anything, but I was very emotional. If I was emotionally hurt, I would cry. And, cry heartily. Now, even when I’m hurt, or bruised, or not feeling emotionally well, I am unable to cry. Even when I want to, I’m unable to.

Crying heals. It helps you vent out the emotions and the dark thoughts growing inside you. It helps you get over the negativity. I think my body has increased its levels of accepting negativity. I think my body is changing. I don’t lose my temper often but when I lose it, I get supremely angry. I am unable to control my reaction, or unable to contain it inside me. If I started shouting to take it out, I wouldn’t be able to stop shouting at my will. I think it is a medical condition.

But, in India, you don’t consider you/anyone is ill unless you/they are unable to get up from the bed. So, no one thinks you need to go to a doctor.
I think I do. I think I have signs of depression.

Days like today when nothing is really wrong in life, but I’m not happy/healthy. I feel like going for a trip/vacation. I feel like being alone/away from all this that I call life right now. The heart is crying but the eyes are not.

Be with me.
Take care.


One thought on “Days like these..

  1. something in our society frowns upon crying as a sign of weakness. I wish we teach children it is OK to have an outlet thru tears. It is better than exploding one day into depression or fury.

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