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Crazy busy and lovin it!

Dear Diary,

Life is crazy busy and there isn’t time even to breathe. 🙂

But, I’m not complaining. It is kind of a sweet pain that makes your body sing every time you remember it. It is like the curse you send out to your child, coz he always forgets his towel and you’ve to rush out of kitchen to give. You don’t mean the curse. You don’t expect him to remember it the next morning. You love to crib about when he’ll grow up. And yet, you know inside, you’ll miss it the day he actually remembers it and you’re no longer needed.

Life has ridiculous ways of becoming meaningful. It doesn’t become life by knowing the deeper meaning of life, its purpose, who’s God, who am I. It becomes meaningful in the journey. The petty things that come your way and you get over, while treading on. Things you can laugh about later. It is the journey that counts. Always did. Always will.

Right now, check out my daily routine.

6 AM – 7:15: Wake up or you can’t send Anay with lunch to school by 7:15. Prepare his breakfast. Prepare your lunch. Pack lunches.

7:20 AM – 8:15 AM: Get ready for office or else, roads will be jammed and it’ll take you an hour to reach office.

9.00 AM – If you’re not in office by this time, you cannot leave by 3.00 PM

3.00 – 3.30 PM – Start back from office quick!

4.00 PM – Rush back home. Prepare dinner. Cut fruits. Prepare veggies for morning.

5.00 – Rush to pick Anay. Pack his stuff for skating.

6.00 – Rush to yoga.

8.00 – Rush back home for dinner

9.00 – Finish Anay’s dinner quick.

10.00 – Put Anay to sleep or won’t wake up in the morning.

10.00 – Fall asleep while putting him to sleep.

The schedule is so packed that even a 15-minute slip is not available. But, I guess when you’re most busy, you’re most productive. Life is at its best.

We went to Chandigarh for a short getaway. I’ve been to the city multiple times. I love the silence there. It is similar to what I liked in US. Silent roads. Peaceful living. And, lot of action in the work-life. As much as one wants. As less, if that’s what you want. As much more, if that’s what you crave.

There are times when I wish to be totally alone. No Tarun, No Anay, No kitchen, No errands to run to. Just me, my cup of tea/coffee, and my book. All day long. All days long, if possible. There are things I wish I could do with Tarun. I know Anay is too small or too restless to be able to go there, or enjoy it. I wonder if we decided to go the family way too soon. What if we had waited a little more while and enjoyed the twosome time a little more. Maybe we would have done lot of those things.

But, I cannot imagine or think of my life without Anay any longer. The times when he’s not with us because he has a party at his daycare, even those small times, as much as a welcome relief it is, he is missed. Even if we think of taking a day off from work and just go for a twosome time out, we start missing him even before we know it. Child has a way of entwining you around his little finger. And as much as you relent it, you love that feeling.

So, life is busy. There are things which I/we miss. But, there will be other times to get back to them. And, they will surely come too, because our li’l one will find a life of his own. And he wouldn’t want to be with us anymore. And then, we’ll have all the time to do whatever we wanted to do twosome. Till then, let me enjoy the precious time I have with my li’l one being li’l. Let me enjoy the nitpicking a li’l more.

Life is good.

Smiles,

Hope

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Feeling Philosophical

Dear Diary, Life is not meant to be calm. It is meant to be full of waves, just like flowing river. So, there will be crests, there will be falls. What is important is to remember to keep yourself calm. I understand now what the Geeta says about not take anything too seriously. Neither happiness nor grievances. They are just part and parcel of life. When you don’t get too excited or exhilarated in your happy times, you don’t feel extremely sad or disappointed in times of grief/failures. There are turbulent times going on in the family. And, I can’t discuss them here. Because, ultimately this is a public forum. As much as I have wanted and kept these entries as honest and factual as possible, because I consider this to be my personal memoir, I can’t write about things which are not really ‘me’. This makes me feel lonely. When you get married, you believe that you’ve got somebody who’ll be a testimony to your life. Kind of a person, who saw through the highs and lows of your life. While he is there for all my ups and downs, there are times when I can’t just talk to him. Sometimes, it is because of my own prejudices, sometimes it is because I know how strongly he feels against the subject, or sometimes because they’re too satanic a feeling to discuss. So, nothing against the better half, but it makes you remember how you came alone to this world and no matter how honest a partner you find, you’ll have to tread it alone. People come for a reason. Some for a minute, some for a season. They come and when their part is over in your life’s play, they fade away. Sigh.