In this fast pace world, where people have more social life on internet than real, life means mostly about goals and targets and money and living-the-high-life. Simple pleasures like watching your kids grow, or tending your garden have become the old-fashioned, outdated thing. You’re enjoying and ‘living’ life only if you’re doing awesome-ly well in your career, going up-and-up in the ladder, socialize with the high-circuit people over marathons or late-night parties.
In such high-pace fast urban life, people are slowly moving away from family, kids, and marriage. I have too many youngsters around me who question me on why should a person marry at all? And when life is less than perfect in your own married life (think of loads of clothes waiting for you back home after a long, hectic day at work), you tend to ask yourself the same question – why marry?
So, I decided to list down what marriage brings to one’s life. Whether that makes it worthy for you or not, is well, your choice. Here goes mine:
A routine: Well, of course, doesn’t everyone hate that itself, in a marriage!? But trust me when I say, when my mind goes insane with all the hell that’s breaking lose at work or in family-drama episodes, the only thing that brings me sanity is that I MUST fulfill my routine. There are certain tasks which I must do and I cannot run away from them. Those responsibilities may seem crucifying at times, but those same duties save me when my mind just wants me to run away or hide in a closet away from the world.
If I was unmarried and all on my own, I am sure I have enough ways in my head, to dessicate myself in a cabinet. Just to get rid of the problems at hand. When you’re alone and not responsible for anybody, it is so easy to break the routine and just loop inside your hell-hole, for days, or weeks, forever.
A guarantee: In the life where nothing comes with a guarantee, knowing that there is one person who I know inside out, is a relief. In this world, people change with time. It’s a given. Having spent each day with one person, I know the changes in this one person, I know the person. And, no matter what changes around me, there is this one inner-circle, where I know what to expect. No matter how much you fight, no matter how much you hate certain traits of this person, and vice versa, you know you’re family. And you’ll be accepted. Despite there’s never complete acceptance, but there’s no running away. So, even if I’m at my darkest, evil-most, they have seen it. And, it’s not new. And, we commit to stick with each other.
You can’t do this for random people. Or, people who came in your life like some months ago. You do that, or feel that, only when you have a sense of history, a pact to go forever.
A history: I know couples bring the history in their fights. And, that’s what people hate about relationships. But, history is not just about accusations. History also includes experiences. I find the history a reminder. A reminder of how much you’ve gone through together. And, survived. Life’s been a roller-coaster ever since I got married. So many changes. So many upheavals. But, when it all ends, time passes, and I look back, it surprises me that we survived it all. And, we survived it together. So, there must be something special. Building such a relationship requires sticking together for years. This is not something you build in months or an year.
The cliched steps to follow: People often say that the world conspires against you by giving you a set pattern of living your life. School, then college, then job, then marriage, then kids, house, marry the kids. etc etc. Yes, it’s cliched. I have followed the steps in my life.
Whether I wanted or not, well it doesn’t matter anymore, because I followed the steps.
But, I think it liberates me. Now, with my child-bearing responsibility done, I’m free to explore my world of opportunities. Yes, the family brings certain limitations, but the circumstances always bring some adversaries. So, I don’t think family is ever a limitation, if you really wanted to pursue or achieve something.
Plus, having followed the steps, I know, even if I fail in any experiment in my life further, I’ll always have what I’ve built. So, the family, the house, the degrees that I’ve already earned, no one can take that from me. And, it adds to my advantage while taking chances.
So, in a way, all in all, what I’m saying is there are always two sides to the coin. Which side you chose to look at, is your choice.