A lot has happened and a lot is playing since we last talked. My brother got married. I’m probably making a home for myself. I got what I wanted at work. It seems like I’m building my life the way I wanted. Or, perhaps, life is leading me in a certain direction.
Marriage of a sibling grows you up in unimaginable ways. You’re partly an adult in the same genre as your parents. You’re supposed to make/partake decisions that only your parents worried about. But now, with you married and all, you have some ideas or opinions to contribute. With parents ageing, you’re expected to be on top of things far more than they ever had been. Yet, you catch yourself short from becoming one of the bickering, meddling kinds.
I can say, after all has happened, that my brother’s wedding was a milestone in my life and it changed me. In lot of aspects. It brought me a sense of responsibility. And, I did well.
While it was on, the career progress was on a major fast track. So, it meant juggling too many balls at the same time. But man! Did I enjoy it or what!? Not all is finished, but I feel a certain lull in my life. I realized I like the chaos and ball-juggling 😀
Leaves me no time to think.
As I stand back and look at my life, I go like – Wow! Where I was, what I was and where have I reached! It’s surreal. It’s amazing. My 10-yr old self who felt so unsure and incapable, I can say ‘Hi-Five’. It’s been a wow journey so far. And, if I have it my way, I have a long long way to go and my heart is set.
How have you been? I missed you. I came to you last, quite a while ago. It’s not that I don’t think of you. I think of returning to you, talking to you, each day but life keeps me away. In my moments of sorrow, you’re my solace. In my moments of joy n bliss, you’re the first who comes to my mind. No kidding!
I don’t know how. I just come to you with my problems, pouring my heart out on your pages. My deepest fears, my biggest regrets, the confusions, the dilemmas..all are embedded within your pages. I don’t come expecting solutions. I expect no results. But, somehow, by the time I finish my writing, my mind, my heart is filled with a light. Like a neon bulb that starts flashing somewhere. Showing me the light at the end of a tunnel.
And in that mystical way, you become my guiding star.
And I want to thank you for that! For being an unconditional friend who has stood by me for so long.
I love you!
When I kept looking for you, kept running behind you all around to come to meet me, you kept evading me.
I cried, I begged, I made a fool of myself all over, but you didn’t budge.
And then I stopped following you, deciding to never look for you again…
Hurt to the core….firm on my decision to not let you into my life again.
And, here you are, hopping joyously back to me, like an innocent child.
Look at the irony, here I am, yet again, taking you back in, with open arms and a smile on my face.
But it seems that this time…our journey together is going to be much longer, more ever-lasting, and much more satisfying than ever before.
Because it’s not me, but you who came looking for me. J
Is this how you can be conquered? Is this all it takes to keep hold of you in life?
Or perhaps you wait till the right time arrives…
Till the right one arrives. J
Moral of the story/ Long story turned short/ Message for the young generation
When you feel that you like/love/whatever someone, just go and ask
“Will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend?”
Do NOT say “I love you”.
The thing we want from a relationship is twosome, fun time, someone to talk to, someone whom I can tell about my day-to-day issues and have a hearty laugh on things in general.
Let’s keep the other complexities of the world out of it then. Naming it as a relationship/commitment, and thinking that you ‘love’ him/her just complicates the matters. All sorts of issues like Marriage, Parents, Ego, etc etc etc come into picture then.
These are matters of adults and best handled by them. This is the time to have fun. Just do that. We already have enough work/study pressure on us to keep us tensed. Let’s not add another reason to our worries.