Personal
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Continuing on my last post, I talked about what actions I took in the last year to bring a change to my life. I talked about the whats’. I didn’t talk much about the whys’. Why did I need those changes? Have you ever found your life to be picture perfect and yet empty? Like…
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Dear Diary, I am now 37 years old. I celebrated my birthday 2 days ago. As has become now an yearly thing, I reflect on the year gone by. Things I did well, things that I dropped, the person I was, the person I am. 2021 or rather the 37th year of my life was…
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Dear Diary, सब अच्छा चल रहा है यूं तो पर मन उदास है। मेरी सोचने की बीमारी मुझे एक दिन खत्म कर देगी। मैं कितना भी चाहूँ, दिमाग वहीं पहुँच जाता है। लॉकडाउन में मैंने कई नई चीजें कीं – embroidery, painting, reading, cooking for anay इस लॉकडाउन में मैंने सोचा कि मैं अपना best…
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प्रिय डायरी , दुनिया को समझते समझते, खुद को समझते समझाते ज़िंदगी गुजर गई। अब अगर यूं चाहें की किसी को नहीं समझाना, कुछ नहीं समझना कुछ नहीं सीखना कुछ नहीं सिद्ध करना किसी को, तो एक प्रश्न चिन्ह लग जाता है – की फिर करें क्या? इस lockdown ने एक आईना सा दिखाया है…
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Dear Diary, I received the offer from the new company I was interviewing for, and I’m eager to get started. This time of notice period, without work is not my type. I know I should allow this time to myself to relax, rejuvenate and be very sure that this is exactly what I want. But…
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1/25/21 Dear Diary, I realized I cannot follow Rampal ji. I talked to a friend who jolted me out of my reverie. She didn’t say much or didn’t debate my decision. She didn’t even know I’m planning to take naam diksha. She just casually mentioned the change it was bringing in me. Called it a…
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12/31/20 – 1/5/21 Dear Diary,I completely forgot I had decided to write every day. Quite a few things happened in the last week. I was talking to Sarika for new year wishes and I landed with an interview opportunity. If there was another way life could show me the love and support, I don’t know.…
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Hey there! I’ve been in a transition phase in my life in the last few weeks. Let’s just say the last week of 2020 and the following weeks of 2021 have been of major transition for me. Of unexpected ends and unexpected new life. I’ve been writing it all in my personal diary but I…
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Dear Diary, It’s still morning time. About 12 noon. I’ve realised I can’t do this anymore. Even if I wanted to continue, I cannot. It all seems pointless. The work I’m doing, the learning it requires. I do not want to continue it. There are small bits and pieces I like – like people I…
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Dear Diary, I was reading the book ‘Men without women’ by Harumi Murakami. The story was ‘Yesterday’. What a book! What a collection of stories. Without the cats and dogs and extreme imaginative which are typical of Murakami’s books, I’m enjoying this a whole lot better. Well, the post is not about the book or…
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Dear Diary, My thoughts are destructive today. I want to break, mutilate, destroy. Basically, vent out the destructive energy which is building up inside me. The lockdown, the work, no breaks. Even the breaks are not helping. There is just too much to do. I am tired of being the responsible one. At this time,…
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People never change. Their inside traits never change. They may learn to behave and show differently, but inside, no one changes. If you are a polite person, caring person, helping person in life, you remain one forever. If you are a spiteful person, negative person, you remain one forever. With life, and with its experiences,…
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Dear Diary, I’ve been slowly stepping towards Bengali. You would remember (because you’re the only one who listens carefully and never forgets!), it has been on MyListOf30 for long. I want to learn Bangla so that I can read the rich literature it offers. I also want to visit Bengal during DurgaPujo time. But, I…
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Dear Diary, It’s been a week of full-solid lockdown at home. The country might have declared it yesterday but we’ve been isolated in our house since last Wednesday. And the whole of March for my son. No office, no physio visits, no markets. My husband steps out to get whatever essentials are required. How’s it…
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Dear Diary, I’ve often written, and have always been critical of the strict parenting I received during my childhood. I never thought I was abused but there was a lot of pressure. My story was shared by lot of other friends around me. Breed who had overzealous parents wanting their children to do well. The…
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Dear Diary, I woke up this morning to two posts – a guiding WhatsApp message and a video by BK Shivani, something I get every morning. Both talked about the same thing. ‘The need for approvals’. How we suffer in our lives because of being needy. Need of something from outside of us. When we…
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Dear Diary, Another friend decided to move. Another story comes to an end. With each goodbye, I break down a little. When I started out (as an adult), and stepped into the real world, I didn’t give a wink to leaving or people leaving. I believed that if a person is important, you’ll stay in…
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Dear Diary, When you read books like ‘Sapiens’ or ‘The Handmaid’s tale’, you realize how humans have tried to sell a myth larger than life to mankind, since ages. It helps those select few people attain a common goal perhaps. And they believe, truly believe, that it’s for a greater good of the mankind too.…
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Have you ever had a friend who was a best friend for you? A confidante, a lighthouse in those times of darkness and hopelessness.. a safe heaven, a no-judgements unconditional friend. No romance, pure friendship. And the friend is no longer in your life? I once had one. And I let him go. I miss…
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#Old Post. Long overdue. Dated 25 November’2019. Dear Diary, It’s my birthday today. I turn 35. From a naive girl of 25, to a boss-lady at 35, life has come a long way. I’m not all wise and made-it-large yet. But I feel far more confident and happy in the place I’m at. I definitely…